financial mess

Okay, so this has nothing to do with WW, or my weight loss journey, but it's more something that I'm stressing over and need to get off my chest. Hubby probably wouldn't like that I'm posting this for the world to see, but knowing that no one who actually knows me personally reads this, I think it's safe.

As I mentioned yesterday, school starts in 3 weeks. I just bought my books this weekend, spending a whopping $250 ish for them, which we don't really have. Right now we're paying on hubby's student loans, the interest on my 3 student loans, 3 credit cards, car insurance, a new car, rent, cell phone, TV bill, food and gas (of course). In 3 weeks I go back to school, which includes having to buy yoga clothes for my class - I'm NOT wearing the same pants to school everyday, sorry, but I'm not. I'm only at school for 2 days a week, I'm not wearing the same pants everyday I'm there. And the only yoga pants I have are capris anyways, so I need pants. I'm not even going back to school shopping for clothes, I know I have a ton of clothes and don't NEED new ones. I do need notebooks though, but I'll just get the cheap 3 subject ones, along with some folders.

Hubby pays all the bills, I mess up the checkbook everytime; yes, everytime, I touch it. My job is to cook the food, and buy the food. Right now, we're okay with us using about $100 each week for food and paper products, WalMart runs, all that sort of thing, and I think we'd be okay if I didn't have to go back to school. But since I'm going back to school, I have to cut my hrs. down from 40/week to 24/week, and that equals out to about $600/month that we'll be losing. That's a HUGE number when we only have about $100 extra/month, and that's if we're lucky and there's no birthdays or extra expenses. So I need to come up with cheaper meals and hopefully still stay on WW.

I'm thinking about quitting WW, I'll still stay on plan, but I won't pay for the service. Last summer was about the numbers, I didn't change my life. I ate eggs every morning, had a frozen meal before going to work and varied what I took for work. I didn't drink enough water, the only exercise I got was at work. This summer I feel like I've changed my life. I don't eat food unless I know they're good for me. I've had WW snacks in the house, but I feel like they're a waste of points. I started exercising and I like it, and I'm sure I'll stick with it. But I think if I don't have WW online to keep me accountable, I would slip off the wagon.

Hubby is going to ask for a raise, and he might have to get a weekend job, too. I feel terrible putting this all on him, but I can't get a second job, I'll need my time during the week for school work. Maybe I could get a weekend job if we really needed it, but I have to put my schoolwork first.

I'm even having trouble sleeping at night because I'm so stressed. I don't normally get like this, but now that reality is setting in, it's hard to ignore. I'm praying constantly about it, and I know I'm getting peace from God, and I know He'll help us get through it. Our lease is up in December, and we might look for a smaller place, which I'm totally fine with. We have a room that we never, ever use. I just need to look for cheaper meals, and don't be spending money.

Matthew 6:27-29
"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are."