The entire car ride, Daddy kept rubbing my leg, and reminding me to breath, while recording contractions. About halfway to the hospital Daddy stopped recording the contractions, they were one right on top of another and super intense. I didn’t know what the point of recording them anymore were - we were already en route to the hospital. Once we got to the hospital, Daddy asked me if I wanted to walk, but I could barely move the contractions were barely stopping, and they hurt! I had super intense pain in my hips all day, my hips flexors could not be relaxed! That’s where most of the pain was, in my hips. Daddy pulled up to the hospital entrance and unpacked the car - we had so much stuff! Poor Daddy, I think our hospital bag weighed about 50 lbs from all the stuff I packed. We had pillows and bags and a whole slew of things. Daddy unpacked the car, and helped me out, walked me in and I just walked through contraction after contraction while Daddy parked the car. I really though my water broke while I was pacing back and forth. So maybe people walked by, and I tried to smile at them, but no one talked to me or asked if I was okay - that kind of surprised me, I thought that I’d be whisked away to the L&D floor in a wheelchair like they do in the movies. But nope, I walked down to the elevators, and to the L&D once we got the the third floor. We buzzed in and the nurses were not very nice to us. They asked who we were and why we were there - so much for them being informed we were on our way.
They had to find a room for us, meanwhile Daddy still had all our stuff and still had to help me through contractions, all while carrying as much as he possibly could. I truly could not have gotten through the day without him. Finally they got us a room, and I slowly walked to it, all while breathing through the constant contractions. The nurse was walking way a head of us, but I wasn’t going to try to keep up with her - I was going at my own pace. Once they got me to the room, the nurse gave me a gown and told me to take everything off, and keep the opening of the gown in the back. Daddy helped me change, I was moving so slow. I realized my water didn’t break like I thought, but it was just more mucus and blood. I finally crawled into bed, and the nurse was asking questions, taking my blood pressure, putting the contraction monitor on me - I honestly don’t know how I got through that initial questioning. You’d think they would ask you all that before you get to the hospital. Oh well, with Daddy’s help, I got through it. Once the nurses left, I knew I was going to throw up, thank goodness we took a puke bucket from Grammy’s house, or I would have thrown up everywhere in that room, not being able to make it to the bathroom and not having anything to throw up in. That was the only time Daddy left my side - he hates vomit, and it makes him vomit, which I knew. I threw up a good chunk, thinking in the back of my mind that a lot of women through up during transition, but I couldn’t possibly be that far.
Once the nurse came back and threw the bucket away, she told me that Dr. Lincoln and Kathy were both there, and we said that if Kathy’s available, we’d love to have her - she’s the midwife Daddy and I met and we both really liked her. They told us they’d get her and once she came in to check me, I heard her whisper “complete, bulging bag” or something along those lines. The nurse was surprised, but I still didn’t get what they were saying. Then Kathy asked if she could break my water - I was completely dilated! Holy cow! I knew contractions were intense and right on top of each other, but in total honesty, the pain wasn’t that bad. Sure it was intense, but breathing helped out so much! I was so surprised that I wouldn’t have to labor in the hospital for hours and hours, even though we packed our bags prepared to do just that - we had a birthing ball, bathing suit, all kinds of snacks and drinks, but we didn’t need any of it! I told Kathy that she could break my water and she did just that. It was a warm gush that came out - and Kathy said it looked like it had a little meconium in it. Kathy said that the pediatrician would be on hand in case the baby didn’t cry right away, but if she did, they would put her right on my chest.
Somewhere in this process, Daddy texted family and told them that that I was complete, and they could make their way to the hospital soon - you were not going to take your time! We also showed our nurse our birth plan, and they were comfortable with it. Our nurse wanted to start an IV, but luckily Kathy had just mentioned that I didn’t need one, and we had her on our side and I didn’t get an IV at all! They only thing that strapped me to the bed was the contraction monitor, which I know they needed at least a 20 minute sample to make sure that you were doing okay and handling the contractions okay. I’m glad I didn’t have to labor long at the hospital, I feel like our nurse wouldn’t have been very helpful with anything.
Once my water was broken, Kathy told us that she had to go speak at a conference, and we were just waiting for me to feel like I needed to push. She brought Dr. Lincoln in and told us that Dr. Lincoln was pretty much a midwife with a doctor’s title - she’d let me deliver on my head if I wanted to. Once she said that, it made me calm, knowing that I wasn’t going to have a doctor who was going to forget our birth plan and do what they wanted. Kathy said that she would be back around 7pm after she spoke, and if we waited that long then she could deliver you. It was about 5:45 at that time. The nurse joked and made sure I didn’t want any pain medication - there wouldn’t be time for it! I told her nope, that the plan was to go natural anyway!
I was still breathing through the contractions, and honestly, I couldn’t tell you if they were more spaced out, I was so inside myself with my eyes closed and Daddy right next to me. Dr. Lincoln said to just call her when I felt like I was ready to push, and probably at about 6pm or so, in the middle of a contraction, I totally felt it. I told the nurse I had to push, and the grunted through the contraction, pushing a little bit. The nurse rushed off to get the doctor and everything set up for your delivery! Daddy said he never saw anyone move so quickly, they were all rushing around. Dr. Lincoln came in and was so patient with me and never told me when to push. In all honesty, I know that some people really like pushing, because they know they’re so close to meeting their baby, but pushing was HARD for me! And I didn’t even push that long!
Anyway, Dr. Lincoln just sat there and encouraged me to hold my pushes, Daddy was right at my side. I was holding onto the bed rails for dear life, my hands actually went numb from holding onto them so tightly. I’m so glad I had no one counting to 10 for me, or demanding I push through a contraction. I actually skipped pushing for a contraction because I just needed a break. Dr. Lincoln was totally okay with that. I’m pretty sure she said something along the lines of “if you need a break, take one”. You were handling everything okay, heart rate was good, so I skipped just one contraction and breathed through it. I don’t even know how many contractions I pushed through, but it was very hard. It’s so hard to get to the point where you’re pushing correctly, and thank goodness for Dr. Lincoln to help me get to the point. Eventually they could see your head with dark hair. Daddy got to see it, too. I don’t know when, but at some point, I asked if I could touch your head and I got to! Daddy thinks that was my motivation to really push you out. I knew I just had to do it, and it would all be over. I also screamed, and it was so instinctual. Daddy said I took everyone by surprise, but that’s what my body told me to do, so I did it. It was primal and my soul was in it, that’s what I needed.
More pushing, and more pushing until that famous, or infamous, ring of fire started! I yelled that it burned, and Dr. Lincoln said that’s when you know it’s almost over. At one point, I yelled “Holy crap!” and Dr. Lincoln said that wasn’t the only 4 letter word I was allowed to use! It made me laugh, and I’m glad for that. I was slower at pushing then, and took a few breaks. While I was taking a break, Dr. Lincoln said that I was doing so good, that’s how you prevent tearing, which didn’t even cross my mind! Eventually I felt like pushing again, and then the relief from your head coming out, and one last push for your shoulders to come out and there you were! The feeling of your body coming out of mine was incredible - something I’ll never forget. And it was over! Here you were - you started crying like a champ and they put you right on my chest and started wiping you down! At 6:37pm, after only about 40 minutes of pushing, and after being at the hospital for only about 1 1/2 hours, you were born - a May baby after all!
I kept saying “my baby, my baby, she’s really here” I looked at your Daddy and we both had tears in our eyes - we couldn’t believe you were here and with RED hair! I kept dreaming of a red haired baby, but I didn’t know if you’d actually have red hair. We of course checked to see if you were a girl, and then the nurse asked about a name. We didn’t even think about a name. I mean we had our list, but that was the last thing on my mind at the time. I asked Daddy what he thought - Marlee or Molly, and he kept saying it was up to me. It took me a good 10 minutes or so to make up my mind. With the red hair, you’re our Molly, Molly Kathryn, after Grammy. My middle name was after my Grammy, so I thought I’d carry on the tradition. Grammy is a wonderful woman, and she already loves you so much! And don’t tell Daddy, but since Mrs. Weasley from Harry Potter’s first name is Molly and she has red hair, I thought it was even more appropriate to name you Molly.
Once the cord stopped pulsing, Daddy got to cut it, he said it was like cutting rubber with dull scissors, and then they took you to weigh you and do your length. You were on my chest for a good 15-20 minutes though, and I’m so happy about that. I’m glad you cried right away and we didn’t have to hand you over to the pediatrician super quickly. They actually shooed him away and told him they didn’t need him, and he was a little annoyed with that. You were a healthy 7.12 ounce, 19 inch baby. Sometime in there I delivered the placenta, I think you were still on my chest at that point, but I’m not really sure. That was nothing compared to you coming out though. Daddy was fascinated with that, and Dr. Lincoln showed us what it looked like.
I had a second degree tear that had to get stitched up, but Dr. Lincoln was so friendly, she kept up the conversation the whole time and although it hurt a little bit, it was not problem. Daddy was with you making sure you were okay. Eventually they gave you back to me and we started nursing you about 30 minutes after you were born. You latched on like a champ! I’m not sure how long we fed you, but I’m so happy we got to so quickly. Daddy took some pictures and texted the whole family who was all in the waiting room. He texted them before we even had a name for you, and everyone was waiting for the decision about a name. Eventually, they helped me up and I was going to shower, but I was a little dizzy, and decided to wait for a shower. I knew the whole family would be anxious to meet you, Miss Molly, so while I was recuperating, Daddy was learning how to give you a bath and watched you get your shots - Hep B and Vitamin K. We declined the eye drops, but had no problem with that from any of the medical staff. At about 9:00pm or so, they got us all packed, put you in my arms and wheeled me up to the mom baby unit.
Then family came in - Grandma and Poppa, Grammy and Pappy, Aunt Colleen, and Great Grandma Crane were all waiting to see you. Grammy teared up, but I think she’s the only one who did. I thought Poppa would for sure, but I didn’t see him tear up anyway. You got passed around the room and Great Grandma kept saying how precious you are, and how much your name fits you. Even though Olivia was our top name for so long, I’m so glad we picked Molly, I think it fits you so much better than Olivia would have. Although Daddy and Mommy have both slipped and called you Olivia already, that’s what happens when you get into a habit of calling you a name even though we both knew it wasn’t picked out officially. Daddy definitely slips more than me though, I think I’ve only slipped twice. Daddy said he’s just going to have that be your special nickname from him, and that’s fine with me.
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| Great Grandma & Molly |
I am so blessed baby girl, and I already can’t imagine my life without you!
