Two Weeks Old.

Hope my birth story didn't bore anyone - I wanted to include it since it's Miss M's journey, but I know it was long and quite detailed. I'm hoping to get to some other posts, and possibly back to some healthy living posts soon, but I am enjoying all the time I can with Molly.

Miss M,

Since our first week, you've learned to like your crib more now, and had a few nights of sleeping all night in the crib! Well, I say all night, but I mean sleeping for about 2.5 hours, up to nurse, then right back down in the crib until the next feeding about 3 hours later. On Saturday night, you were a little fussy, and Momma got a little upset with you because you wouldn't eat very well - you wouldn't latch on. I think it was a mix of sleeping all. day. long. and the walk Daddy and I took you on once he came home from work. We were going to try to go to church on Sunday morning, but I slept with you in the recliner for about 4 hours so that didn't work out. I was a little worried because you were only eating for about 5 minutes during the night, and going so long in between feedings, I didn't want you to starve, or have my supply go down, but I trusted my instincts to just let you go, if you were hungry, you'd fuss and I'd feed you.


You're such a great sleeper! We don't have to be quiet when you're napping, even if we're holding you, which tends to happen during the day. Oh well, Grammy loves to spoil you! We've been on a good schedule at night, getting up to eat every 2-4 hours or so, and not getting up in the morning until about 8am. I honestly don't mind getting up multiple times to feed you at night when I still get to sleep in until that late!

I think we're dealing with a little over supply issue, either that or my milk comes out really fast. You haven't choked, but I know it's coming out fast because it overflows while you're nursing. I always have to make sure to have a burp cloth handy so that I can wipe up whatever milk is overflowing everywhere. Sometimes I feel like a cow with milk shooting everywhere, but I know it's what's best for you and we'll work through it. Daddy is such a great help when I get frustrated. He always takes the first "shift" until about 11pm or so, unless you get hungry earlier. He loves spending time with you and hates if he has to work late since he gets to spend so little time with you anyway. He loves you so, so much and I love to see that connection you have with him. You're already Daddy's little girl.

 You're more awake for periods now, and we've started tummy time with you. You really don't mind it at all! We put you on our chests a lot and you're already so strong and pick your head up! Daddy is amazed at you each time you do it! I love watching all your faces and your smiles, even if they aren't real smiles yet. They're adorable! I could just stare at you all day!

We went for our first stroller walk this week! You slept the whole time! It felt good to get out of the house and go somewhere, I hope to keep that up with Grammy over the summer when it isn't too hot out. Daddy pushed you for a little bit, but then I wanted to push you since I need the exercise more! You were a little fussy that night, and Daddy thought it was because you were outside and we threw off your schedule, but I don't think so. I think you were just fussy, but when I say fussy, I mean that you were basically just making noises, you still haven't really cried.

Oh, we also went to Uncle Billy's graduation Wednesday night. You were awesome - sleeping through the entire thing, not even waking up to eat for 4 hours. You cried the whole way home since you were so hungry but we flew home and you ate for 25 minutes! You generally don't eat that long anymore. I felt bad, you seemed like you thought we were never going to feed you again. I was so worried during graduation that you'd cry and I'd have to feed you, which wouldn't have been bad, but I had to take pictures of Uncle Billy since it was only Grammy and I and she had the camcorder. Daddy had to work late, but he still came after work, he missed the ceremony but came to carry you around afterwards for pictures.

We also took our first couple outings this week! Sunday we went to Great Gma Crane's house and you slept in your carseat for most of the day, and Wednesday we went up to Kohl's and Babies R Us, and you slept the whole time there, too. You love sleeping in the car!

We gave you a pacifier again this week, and you like the one from the hospital. I don't think it's messed with our nursing routine, and you don't use it a lot, just when you're done eating and need something to suck on. I think once you find your finger/thumb you'll be very content, but I know that might not be for a while, and I'm okay giving you a pacified occasionally. I just don't want it to be a crutch that we try first if you're fussy, I want it to be a last resort, and so far, that's worked.


How's Mom?


I actually feel 100% healed! I want to take some pictures of what my post-baby body looks like, but I'm so proud of what my body did that all the flabby skin and stretch marks don't bother me one bit. I had a little bit of a hard time being okay with how I looked at graduation, but I thought I looked pretty good for 2 weeks post partum, if I do say so myself. I felt great on that walk we took, although out of breath, but I'm so out of shape it's not even funny. Sometimes I feel like a cow when I'm feeding, but that's normal. I don't think I have any "baby blues" at least not yet. I get frustrated sometimes, and the tears fall, but that's normal, too. Usually it's when I'm nursing and I feel bad because my milk is coming out too fast and Molly's hungry, but don't want to eat because there's so much. At least that's what I feel like is going on.

I know I can't push myself too hard, and I'll stick to walking for now, and maybe some yoga thrown back in if I can when Miss M is sleeping. I've been good with my sleep, too. I haven't had to nap in about a week or so. I might have to next week since I'm going to be here myself with Miss M, but we'll play that by ear. I know my mom works right down the road if I need her to come home quickly, she can.

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Any moms reading who have any advice for over supply/fast milk flow?

Being Comfortable.

I've never been comfortable in my skin. I don't think there was every a time where I felt great about the way I looked. I'm hoping to raise my daughter differently - with a treat your body kindly, you're perfect the way you are kind of mentality.

Anyways, the closest I've gotten to being comfortable with how I looked was probably last summer right before I got pregnant. I was at the lowest weight I've ever been at in my adult life, and probably since early high school. I was comfortable wearing shirts that fit, and happy with my jean size.

All that changed once I got pregnant though. Now I am completely 100% comfortable with myself. I know it's because I'm pregnant and I know that my body is doing amazing things, shifting organs and growing a human. Even though my hips and thighs are wider, my face is chubbier and my chest is larger (awesome. Just what I wanted), I love my body. I'm confident when I walk around the mall or go out grocery shopping. If it was summer, I'm pretty positive I would be one of those ladies rocking a bikini while pregnant even though I've rarely worn one before.

I really wanted to change my mindset and attitude before having kids. I wanted to push away all the negative thoughts about my body and start treating it right. Especially once I found out that I'll have a daughter, I want to teach her not to compare her body to other people. Treat her body right, feed it foods that makes it strong. Encorporate activity into our lives, not because we have to, but because it makes our bodies healthy and strong. I wasn't raised in that type of environment, but I've changed since my teenage years. However, I notice that when the women of my family are around, I slip right back into my old ways, talking about disliking our bodies and wishing we could loose just a few more pounds. I don't want my daughter to think like that, and I'm going to be her main source of information for a while.

I love the feeling of not worrying what the scale says. Granted, I haven't really been eating the healthiest, but I know how to. I know how to properly fuel my body, and push it to its limits. I started to enjoy exercise, even though it's getting a lot harder now to convince myself to get up from my chair, I know I'll get back into it. I hope this feeling of complete confidence sticks around, and I'll try to remember that if I'm unhappy with my body, I've got a little girl watching how I act about it. And most importantly, I'm growing a human, my body is doing amazing things, it's all worth it.

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Can you ignore the media's message about the "perfect body"?

Stretch Marks.

One morning last week, I was looking at my belly, which I absolutely adore, and noticed these pink lines.

"Crap. Those are stetch marks."

This is not my first encounter with them though, when I was in high school, Mr. Skinny, who was my boyfriend at the time, got me a job at McDonalds. At first, it was fine, I was still cheering and kept my weight the same (I think). But then I decided my senior year that I didn't want to cheer anymore due to coaching changes, I gained weight once McDonalds food was my meals for probably 5 meals out of the week or so. I'm not sure how much I gained, but I know I gained a good amount, and fast, which resulted in stretch marks on my sides.

I've gotten used to them now, they've never really bothered me, but I've never been that comfortable in my body that I've worn any clothing were they show. My inner thighs have some, too, but who can ever see them? When I was on WW and loosing weight, I did get a little concerned about them, only because I really wanted to wear a bikini at some point and I knew people would see them. I asked other's opinions on the 20's board, but most just said that they didn't let them bother them, and that's the attitude I tried to adopt.

Once I got pregnant, I saw all the worry about stretch marks, but didn't think I would get them because I've gained weight before, and no one in my family got them, and they say that stretch marks are genetic. During winter, I normally put lotion on, but I never really paid much attention to making sure I put enough on my belly every day. It was the last thing on my mind. Well, then I woke up with them. I really think they appeared overnight.

At first, I was really disappointed that I had them. I know what they'll look like in 5+ years since I had them from McDonalds. With our maternity pictures hopefully happening next weekend, I was envisioning this perfect smooth belly for them. I was complaining to my mom, complaining to Mr. Skinny. I even showed them to my brother, who promptly said, "I can't see anything." He's gonna make a good husband someday!

Then I thought about it. Why be disappointed? I'm going to have a daughter, and what would I say to her if she started complaining to me about stretch marks when she's pregnant? Sure I'll sympathize, knowing they won't go away, but I'd tell her to wear them proudly. They're battle scars, a badge of honor to wear and show the world that you grew a human inside of you!

If I ever get to the point where I'm comfortable to wear a bikini, which is a whole other topic in and of itself - should moms wear bikinis - I'll wear my stretch marks with confidence, knowing they they are there for a reason, and show the world that my body can do something incredible.

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Do you have stretch marks?
How do you feel about them?