Stretch Marks.

One morning last week, I was looking at my belly, which I absolutely adore, and noticed these pink lines.

"Crap. Those are stetch marks."

This is not my first encounter with them though, when I was in high school, Mr. Skinny, who was my boyfriend at the time, got me a job at McDonalds. At first, it was fine, I was still cheering and kept my weight the same (I think). But then I decided my senior year that I didn't want to cheer anymore due to coaching changes, I gained weight once McDonalds food was my meals for probably 5 meals out of the week or so. I'm not sure how much I gained, but I know I gained a good amount, and fast, which resulted in stretch marks on my sides.

I've gotten used to them now, they've never really bothered me, but I've never been that comfortable in my body that I've worn any clothing were they show. My inner thighs have some, too, but who can ever see them? When I was on WW and loosing weight, I did get a little concerned about them, only because I really wanted to wear a bikini at some point and I knew people would see them. I asked other's opinions on the 20's board, but most just said that they didn't let them bother them, and that's the attitude I tried to adopt.

Once I got pregnant, I saw all the worry about stretch marks, but didn't think I would get them because I've gained weight before, and no one in my family got them, and they say that stretch marks are genetic. During winter, I normally put lotion on, but I never really paid much attention to making sure I put enough on my belly every day. It was the last thing on my mind. Well, then I woke up with them. I really think they appeared overnight.

At first, I was really disappointed that I had them. I know what they'll look like in 5+ years since I had them from McDonalds. With our maternity pictures hopefully happening next weekend, I was envisioning this perfect smooth belly for them. I was complaining to my mom, complaining to Mr. Skinny. I even showed them to my brother, who promptly said, "I can't see anything." He's gonna make a good husband someday!

Then I thought about it. Why be disappointed? I'm going to have a daughter, and what would I say to her if she started complaining to me about stretch marks when she's pregnant? Sure I'll sympathize, knowing they won't go away, but I'd tell her to wear them proudly. They're battle scars, a badge of honor to wear and show the world that you grew a human inside of you!

If I ever get to the point where I'm comfortable to wear a bikini, which is a whole other topic in and of itself - should moms wear bikinis - I'll wear my stretch marks with confidence, knowing they they are there for a reason, and show the world that my body can do something incredible.

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Do you have stretch marks?
How do you feel about them?

Thirty-Six Weeks.

Dear Baby Girl,

How many more of these weekly updates are we going to have? I know I'm not considered "full term" quite yet, but I can't imagine getting much bigger! I still don't have any feelings whether you'll be early or late or on time, but each day I'm amazed that my body knows exactly what to do to keep you growing and healthy. I think you're running out of room, too, most of your movements are drags now instead of kicks or punches. You're still moving constantly, and I love it. I can usually feel where your butt is.

Your family is starting to watch my every move to make sure I'm okay. We were over Grandma Crane's last week while Daddy was laid off and a few times she asked if I was okay, just to check. I know that everyone is just so excited for your arrival. Daddy and I are super excited, too. He's asking more questions about our birth "plan" and if I want him to come home as soon as my water breaks, but I told him maybe my water won't break first, we'll just have to play it all by ear. Grandma Crane thinks you'll be born in the middle of May, just let me finish work first. I would love to have one week of maternity leave before you're born, but I know you run the show, not me.

I've had a few woman tell me I look like I've dropped, and I'm not sure if I can tell or not. I don't think you've been up in my ribs lately, so maybe I have? But I can't really tell by looking at pictures.

Since Daddy was laid off last week - side note, we aren't really worried about it, we know that God has a plan and a reason for why this is all going on. We'll take it each day at a time, and it'll work itself out - we went up to Babies R Us and finished our registry. We also used some coupons to get you some jammies and socks from Kohls, mittens from Old Navy and a free bodysuit that I had a coupon for. Then Daddy spent all day washing everything that we got from our shower and what we bought to finish our registry. So your crib is all ready and we have everything that I think we need. We will need more diapers, but I'm hoping that we'll get some when you're born from family. We do need a mirror for the back of the car so that I can see you, but that's not a huge deal. We have some coupons for 20% off at Babies R Us that don't start until this week sometime, so I'll use them for that.

Finished crib. I know the stuffed animals can't stay in there.

We also bought everything else off our Amazon registry, which I didn't realize that we got a 10% off to finish that registry, too, but I think I might save that for cloth diapers, which is another post that's on my to-do list to write up.

Your length should be in the 17.2 - 18.7 inch range, and I know I can feel all of that! Weight should be about 4.2 - 5.8 pounds or so, and I can feel all that, too! After our shopping spree on Wednesday I was so exhausted! Then Friday we had to go and get your big cousin Colton a birthday present for his first birthday, and by the end of that night my hips hurt, my back hurt and my feet hurt! I definitely can't be out and about for too long anymore!

Heartburn has been plaguing me just about every day. I'm sure part of it is that it's worse when I eat garbage, but junk food is just so yummy! I know I need to clean up my diet though, to give you the best nutrition I can. I've been caving to sweets way too much recently. Daddy is on board, too, since he and Uncle Brent started working out together last week.

Sleeping hasn't gotten worse. It's still a chore to roll over from side to side, and get up to pee at least 5 times each night. I don't have a problem sleeping once I actually fall asleep, but I just get up frequently. My hips hurt, the only time my back doesn't hurt is when I'm laying down. I'm still not swollen, I don't think. My wedding band is getting a little tight, but I'm blaming the warmer weather for that and not pregnancy, although I'm sure it's a mixture of both. Stretch marks have gotten worse, too. Daddy keeps reminding me to put lotion on my belly every day, but I don't think it's going to help now. They aren't terrible, and I'm wearing them with pride! I might even ask our maternity photographer to take a close up of them. I'm determined to not be ashamed of them!

I keep pushing things off until I'm officially on maternity leave, but I think I need to get moving on things, like writing out our birth "plan" and packing our hospital bags, because we never know when we're going to have to get to the hospital. Maybe that'll be my goal for the rest of today - after I finish the thank you cards from the shower, I'll get started on packing our bag and the birth plan.

Keep cooking, baby girl! Can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Mommy

Jumping on the Bandwagon.

I have never been a leader. You know, the one whose opinion differs from everyone else around them, they find out what they like and they stick to their guns. Do research on different things and find out what's best for them. Nope, I jump on the bandwagon. I hate confrontation and controversy. I'll stay quiet unless someone asks my opinion and then I'll give it as peacefully and quietly as possible. Last Memorial Day, when Mr. Skinny's family got into a heated political debate, I took a convenient trip to the bathroom.

This jumping on the bandwagon stuff goes just about into every part of my life. Right now, it's seeping into how I feel about certain things once my little girl is born, and how I'm envisioning labor and delivery for myself.

I've always been fascinated by being a mom, the whole process. I used to watch "A Baby Story" on TLC all the time. Any kind of show I could find about labor and delivery, I watched. I'm not sure when I started reading up on natural birth, but when I did, it all made sense. Women's bodies were made to deliver babies. Pain is just how your mind perceives it. If you're scared, your body will make it seem more painful. Sure, I've never gone through labor pains before, but I know my body can do it. God created women to do this.

Anyways, natural birth goes back to jumping on the bandwagon. Reading up on it made it seem "better" than medicated birth, so naturally, I jumped on. Well, before getting pregnant, I would jump on the bandwagon in regards to healthy eating. Chia seeds seem to be good for you, let's get some. Greek yogurt, same thing. High fructose corn syrup seems bad for you, so let's avoid that. Organic is the way to go, let's spend more money on that. Same thing in regards to what I put on my registry. From the crib mattress - which is organic - to swaddles and bathing products, I jumped on the bandwagon. I read one negative thing about something and I jump on the bandwagon. Sometimes it's not a bad thing, i.e. organic produce. But some things I'll push for just because I read one article, which may or may not have been a credible source.

My next thing - cloth diapers. I can't even truthfully tell you why I'd like to try them other than possibly saving money. It just seems like the benefits outweigh the negatives. Luckily for me, Mr. Skinny is really easy going and laid back about things. He usually jumps on board with me because he trusts me to make educated decisions about the things that I'm passionate about.

I'm starting to be a little more opinionated about certain things, although I will only argue with certain people about them, but I'm a little worried that it's going to bite me in the butt. Mr. Skinny and I are on the same page with a natural birth, so I'm worried that I'm going to be in labor for like 4 days, and want some kind of pain medication, and he's going to talk me out of it. Which might not be a bad thing, but he's not the one going through the pain. I'm worried I'll spend all this money on cloth diapers and then something goes wrong, just so someone can tell me "I told you so." I want to breastfeed so badly, I'm worried it won't work out for me.

I'm sure this feeling isn't going to go away. Being a parent means making the best decision you can for your family, and people might not like it. My aunt might think I'm crazy to feed my baby on demand rather than on a schedule. Sometime might criticize me if I pick my baby up every time she cries for a long time. Co-sleeping. baby wearing, crying it out. Baby food vs. baby led solids. There's no right answer, and I'm worried that I won't be able to figure out what I want for my baby and stick to my guns.

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How do you handle criticism?
Do you tend to jump on the bandwagon, or march to your own drummer?

Pregnancy Weight Gain.

Gaining weight during pregnancy is inevitable. You're growing a human and your body needs more food, the baby needs the nutrients to develop and so you get to eat more. The problem is that figuring out exactly how much extra to eat, and that's my main problem.

During my life, I've been on two sides - loose weight, or eat whatever you want and don't worry about the consequences. I've never gotten to the point where I had to maintain my weight. I've never figured out just how much my body needs to stay at a happy weight. Frankly, I've never figured out what my body's happy weight is. Even at the lowest that I was last summer before getting pregnant, I knew I wasn't done yet, and if I didn't get pregnant, I know I would have kept loosing weight.

However, once I got pregnant, I was determined to not let myself go overboard with eating. My cousin kept saying that it's the only time in your life where you can eat what you want and gain weight. I don't completely agree with that statement, but I understand what she was saying though. You get to eat extra! You have to eat extra!

The first trimester, even with being nauseous and not eating very nutritious food, I only gained 2.6 pounds, which was normal. If I regret anything, it's how much I gained in the second trimester. That's when I let myself get out of hand. I gained about 17 pounds in the second trimester. Not terrible, but that's when I should have focused more on exercising and eating a balanced diet, and I didn't. Didn't help that winter and the holidays were during that time and I definitely used that as an excuse. That's mostly where I blame myself. I know that I can't go back in time now, but it's hard to not kick myself for it.

End of first trimester - 13 weeks

End of second trimester - 27 weeks

I'm not sure when I started to weight myself daily instead of weekly, but that really helped for a while. I was taking the average of the week and using that as my weekly weigh-in. I could see the fluctuations and I could usually pinpoint that it was from too much dessert the night before, or not enough water the day before. But then I couldn't pinpoint it anymore. I started counting calories. I wanted to see if I was just using the excuse of not tracking to eat an enormous amount of food each day. While I was counting calories, I was doing just fine. But I didn't know how many calories I should be eating. The whole thing was very frustrating.

Now I'm up 26 pounds total. I know it's normal to gain up to 2 pounds each week in the third trimester, but that scares me. I still have 10 pounds to go, and if I gain 2 pounds a week, that's another 20 pounds that I could gain. I know that now it's more of what the baby needs compared to just how much I eat, but it's a scary number. If I creep up higher than my highest weight, that's really going to scare me. Which I probably will. I want to do what's right for this little girl, and now's the time that really matters. I can't go backwards and loose weight or start over again, but I can focus on healthy foods from here on out, cut out the extra foods and go from there. Which is what I'm trying to do, but it's hard.

And I hid the scale. I have been quite comfortable with the scale and knew it had to go up, but now that we're nearing the end, I put it away. I already feel like I'm freed. With my doctor's appointments every 2 weeks for a month, then weekly, I can just go by my weight there. They haven't said anything about me gaining too much and hopefully they don't. I'm aware that I've already gained too much, but I'm also confident that I can loose it. I've lost weight before, and although it'll be little different for me to see how I am with breastfeeding, I know I can do it. Sure it might take longer, but I can do it. That's something I'm confident I can do.

For right now, I'll focus on eating healthy, with correct portions and really step up my exercise. That's been hugely slacking, too. But now that it's warm, I can walk with Mr. Skinny when he comes home, and I can walk during the day since it's so nice out. Sure, I might gain close to 50 pounds with this pregnancy, but I can loose it, and I can't go back in time to change what it already done, but I most certainly will learn for next time.

Tell me:


What's your biggest concern with your health right now? 

On Track Again.

I promised you an update, and an update I shall provide. Well, I've been hovering around the 147-150 mark for a while now and truthfully it's because I've been slacking. It was summer and while the fresh fruit and veggies were plentiful, so were the cook-outs. I was okay because I was running and working out enough to offset the bad weekend eatings of hot dogs and chips. Now that I'm experiencing some back pain, I'm currently not running at all, instead focusing on weights and yoga. And, there is no exercise to offset any bad eating.

On September 1, I thought that it would be good if I could not weigh myself at all in September and wait until October 1 to do another weigh in. Yeah, that lasted about 4 days. I knew that since I haven't been exercising I wanted to see what the scale was saying, so I stepped on it this morning. And... it said 150. That's a little too close for comfort. I still have at least 10 pounds to go, although I'd like to lose another 15 - 20, but we'll see how that goes.

There's no reason for me to not loose more weight. I'm not finished yet, and I need to get as healthy as I can before we either get pregnant, or try to get pregnant in January, or whenever we decide to try again.

Today was day 1. For the first time ever, I think, I measured my peanut butter this morning. I weighed my apple, and tracked everything as accurately as I could today. I can do this. I'm going to focus on each day, each meal, whatever food goes in my mouth. I'm not going to slack off anymore. I'm going to focus on my fruits and veggies and not eating dessert. Listening to my hunger signals and choosing healthy options. I talked to Mr. Skinny and he's on board, too. He's going to help me out. I can do this.

The good thing is that I caught myself before it got too bad and I gained a ton of weight back.

Tell me:


When was the last time you had reality hit you in the butt?

Stuffed.

Happy August! Ahh, the blank canvas that is a new month. It feels so good sometimes! But seriously, where did July go? Where is 2011 going??

Remember when I said I wasn't going to track for awhile? Yeah, I think I'm going to start tracking tomorrow again. Today's after dinner food included 2 pieces of zucchini bread with butter AND about half a container of strawberries dipped in white chocolate AND 3 mouthfuls of redi whip straight from the can.

Yesterday, after I posted, was a continuing spiral downward, including a yelling match with my dad when he snapped at me for putting the case of water under his sink in the garage when I didn't even put it there. Yeah, that was the final straw for me, and poor dad got the brunt of my bad mood all day. We both apologized when I got back from my walk, but my mood was still lousy. I went over Mr. Skinny's parent's house then, and put on a smile for there. Eventually "fake it until you make it" worked out and I was in a better mood. It was just a bad day yesterday.

This morning started out a bit better, went for a run. I just wanted to go for a slow run, and still ended up with an 11 minute mile. I ran 2.61, but honestly could have ran longer. I turned around too fast. I might hit up another run tomorrow morning though.

It's been an okay day today. I'm getting out of my funk, slowly. I think I just want to know where I'll be in a month, and where I'll be in a year. Will I be pregnant? Have my baby in a year? We're throwing around vacation ideas with my family, and since they don't know we're TTC, I can't really say much. I don't like my job anymore than I did when I first started. Sure, it's getting easier, but I hate not being able to cook for my family. I miss cooking every day. I know we need the money, but I think that's why I want to be pregnant so quickly, so I can count down to when I can quit my job.

Hopefully I'm in the upwards part of this funk. I just need to focus on each day one at a time and appreciate the time I have with Mr. Skinny. God is in charge and it's all up to Him. I just need to get myself in tip-top baby makin' condition and everything will work out.

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Do you have a problem with patience sometimes?

When was the last "funk" you were in?

UN-healthy Foods.

For the past few days, I haven't tracked anything. I've been eating what I feel like eating and haven't been treating my body the way it needs to be treated.

It's been a long time since I've done this. It's not really binging, although I'm not waiting until I'm hungry to eat, it's just falling back into my old self. The person who ate junk food just because it was there. I'm trying to pinpoint exactly what it is and I can't quite figure it out.

My WI on Friday was pretty good, I ate my normal food at work, but had to skip eating my salad since no one else took a lunch, I didn't want to be the only one who had to take a break. Once I left work, I was starving, but had to go to get gas, which isn't on the way home around here. When I got in the car, there was a tornado watch for up North. Awesome. That's where Mr. Skinny is. So I call him to make sure he's okay, he doesn't answer so I left him a voicemail. Sort of weird since he was off at 5, and it was after 5 when I left, but not totally strange. I go to get gas and text him. No response. Okay, I have Mobile Me on his iPhone, so I can find his location. Let's try that. Can't find it. Starting to get nervous now. I call again, it rings, but he doesn't answer and it goes to voicemail.... I'm still starving, and I'm starting to get a little nervous.

The best answer? Stop for Chinese, of course. Right. General Tso's, fried rice and egg drop soup later, Mr. Skinny calls me to tell me his phone broke. Seriously? Of all days, his phone had to break the day there are tornado warnings where he works. His iPhone got wet because they were stuck in the rain, and we think it shorted out. That's why Mr. Skinny has insurance for his phone. Not a big deal, he stopped at Best Buy yesterday and ordered a new phone. They gave him a prepaid phone in the meantime, and he'll have a new phone by Friday.

Anyways, that's definitely where my unhealthy eating started this weekend. Yesterday I made myself eggs for breakfast, then followed it up with a green monster. Okay start, right? It all went downhill from there, I had my leftover Chinese, and all it ate it all until I was stuffed, then agreed to go to Red Robin with Mr. Skinny a few hours later, where I ate half my Whiskey River BBQ chicken wrap, clam chowder and Mr. Skinny's fries. Washed down with 2 freckled lemonades. Oh, Friday we went for ice cream, too.

I think I need a break from tracking my food, worrying about if I met my vitamins for the day, etc. I've been (mostly) diligently counting since the end of April and I think I just need a break. I don't think it's the stress from baby makin' - I really don't get stressed too easily. It's a little unnerving that I don't know anything, but I know it's in God's hands, not mine. I'd love a vacation, too, but seeing as Mr. Skinny only gets one day off each week (Sunday), and that's his day to work on our lot and everything, we don't really have the time to get away. I just have to appreciate the time I spend with him when I get to and take care of myself. Get myself in prime baby makin' condition.

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post. I want to be honest on this blog, and that's how this weekend has gone so far.

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When was the last time you fell off the "healthy lifestyle" wagon? How'd you get back on?

Just What I Needed.

As most of you know, my last few runs have been "eh" I'm not really sure what is it, but they just haven't been great. I'd take a walking break when I feel like it, maybe I just haven't given my runs my all. I actually thought about going on a few electronic free outings to see if I could just get out of my rut as of late. Since I haven't been able to do that second one mile run in W6D2 I thought I'd just head out and see what I could do. I did run yesterday, so I wasn't expecting a whole lot today in my run.

I might have mentioned it before, but when I run, I can't pass my house without being finished. I need to run loops, I don't like running the same road multiple times, and I can't pass my house and do a repeat of the run I just did. I know it's all in my head, but I just can't. I've also mentioned that because my house is on a lake, we're up on a hill, and I won't run up that hill, it's a HUGE hill. So my running trails have been pretty limited. Today though, I branched out and ran on the Main Road. I ran down the hill, to the Main Road and kept going. It was something new and it was wonderful.

I wasn't sure if I was going to try to repeat W6D2, or what I wanted to do. If I was going to move onto the next day, it's a 2.25 mile run. Straight. No walking breaks. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to do that, so I kept an open mind. Well once I did my warm up walk, and starting running, it took me awhile to get into my groove, but I was doing pretty well. Then, once I started back up the hill, my phone rings. It's the guy who was coming to fix the chipped windshield in my car. I had to answer it. This was enough time for me to walk, albeit very slowly, up the hill. Once I made it up the hill, I picked up my run again, checked my GPS and saw that I walked about .11 - no big deal. I took one short walking break and ran until I did a whole 2.25 mile run! And I'm psyched about it! It was seriously just what I needed to boost my confidence about running and convince me that I CAN do this!

On the job front, Mr. Skinny's grandma's financial advisor offered me a job! It's part time though, only 15 hours/week. I STILL haven't heard from Wells Fargo. I called the store I interviewed at and she said she couldn't tell me anything, I had to wait until I talked to HR. What. A. PAIN! I just want to know if I should hold out for this full-time job, or if I should just take the part-time job. I will say though, if I take this part-time job, then it's going to be for a while. He doesn't want to waste his time training someone if they're going to ditch him for a full time job in a few months time, which I completely understand. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Awesome. I think I might call the store again and demand that I talk to someone. I just need to know if I have the job or not. Why is this so confusing?!

We'll all get it figured out.

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When was the last time you got that extra boost you needed?

Do you have any advice for me?

A Super Long Weekend.

I'm going to warn you. This post is probably going to be wordy and not have any pictures. If I add pictures while I'm writing a blog on my PC at work, it screws everything up. But I have important information for my readers and I won't have time until June 13 to write a proper post at home with my Mac.

The reason?

We're moving. Officially. My last day of work is next Friday.

Mr. Skinny interviewed with a construction company last Friday, and they gave him the job on the spot. He went for his drug test and physical right after the "interview" and will have to go to orientation either this week or next.

I'm excited, really I am, but it's hard to close this chapter of my life. And while I absolutely love being around family and dispise the 200 mile, nearly 4 hour drive that it is from PA to Maryland again, I loved being on our own, away from drama, able to do what we want and not have to check in with anyone. We'll be living with my parents, and yes, I know that we're not going to be reverting back to being in high school with curfews and such, but I'm probably still going to let my mom know where we're going.

And I've learned to love my job and the people I work with. It's really hard to tell them I'm leaving, I know they appreciate me and everything I do. But this is the right thing. I know it is. On Friday morning, I got an email from the job that I had applied for in Maryland saying they were "pursuing other candidates." It was a sign from God that Mr. Skinny and I were making the right decision. As much as I love my job, I have to stay in school to keep my job, and we couldn't go for a few years with me going to school every semester. Even if it is a community college, it's still $800/semester.

My parents are ecstatic. Mr. Skinny's grandma is just as ecstatic. My in-laws are excited, too. Even our siblings are excited. Mr. Skinny was beeming all weekend. I'm excited, too. I just need to be okay with leaving the life I have and starting a new chapter in the book of my life (how corny does that sound?).

We also had a good long talk with Mr. Skinny's cousin and his wife about our lot. The cousin and his wife will be living next to us. We're going to be saving a lot of money so we can build our house faster. Next summer we're going to put our driveway in, splitting the cost with the cousin and wife. Hopefully in the next 3-4 years we'll be able to put our house in.

I should be excited for this because it's one step closer to having a baby. Mr. Skinny was worried about health insurance, but with this job, its free! I know it's a wonderful thing, it's just hard. I don't want people to look down on us because we're moving back in with my parents. It's not that we've failed. There's a huge empty room with it's own bathroom that no one uses! I've already had to answer the question "You're just staying with your parents until you find a place, right?"

You want the answer? No. Probably not. Well yes, eventually. But we'll probably live with my parents for a good few years. It's rent-free, and no one uses that area. We can save our money and get on our feet. Why buy a house just to move out in a year or so? And Mr. Skinny is DONE with apartments. Why pay rent, you aren't getting anything out of it. That's his problem, and I understand it, I do. So we'll save money and we probably won't move out until we have our house built. I really don't view it as taking advantage of my parents. I'll be cooking for them, and helping them out.

Okay. Sorry about the long-winded vent. I'm nervous, I'm excited. It's going to be hard, but it's going to be fun. I'm excited about the opportunity, but nervous about leaving our space and moving back in with family. But this is what God wants us to do.

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What's a hard decision you had to make? Did it all work out?
Have you ever lived with your parents/in-laws after you were married?

Changing Foods.

Back to my weight loss journey now. Hopefully I can post on that regularly rather than random tidbits about my life. Although I'm sure they'll get thrown in there, too.

I know I mentioned it before, but I've been stuck in the 155-160 range for months. 3 months actually. I'm so sick of it. I know I have myself to blame, but it's really frustrating. Every time I think I'm going to break through, something happens to alter that. I either have a graduation weekend, or go to Disney World, or something happens. Anyways, I'm ready to be done with those stubborn pounds.

I have a question for you readers. I need some advice. Do you think that when you fall into a funk of eating the same foods everyday, your body gets used to those foods and you maintain your weight? I mean, I normally eat the same thing everyday for breakfast...

snacks with few variations...

I generally rotate yogurt, strawberries, bananas, apples w/ pb or cheese. That should be enough variation, right? For breakfast, I usually get on a kick and don't change. For weeks I've had what you see above, easy over egg, toast, and potato "fried" in canola oil. It's delicious and I can't get enough of it!

Lunches are normally leftovers and dinners are different every night. So other than breakfast, I change what I eat every day. Could my breakfast be the cause of my maintaining or can I only blame myself and my overeating on certain days?

For a few weeks now I've been tracking my food on My Fitness Pal and I have to say, I love it. This was the change that I needed from WW. I am forever grateful to WW for teaching me all I've learned, but I think this might be a permanent change. I'm hoping that maybe next month I can totally cancel my WW subscription and save us $17/month. I like being able to look at calories on a nutrition label and have an idea of what it means. For the first 2 weeks, I was doing awesome, I lost 4 lbs. in those first two weeks. Then we went to the beach. Then I graduated, and the scale doesn't look like it likes me right now. Maybe I need another scale break.

Anyways, sorry for the long winded post! Do you think my monotonous breakfast can be to blame for my lack of loosing weight? Or do I need to just get my head in the game?

If you have a second, head over to Leah's blog to register for her book giveaway, but don't get your hopes up, I'm going to win! :) Seriously though, Leah is an inspiration! A vegan who's lost over 75 pounds with WW! Amazing story and great blog!

What's going on in my life.

School is almost over. Only 2 finals, 1 paper and 1 assignment is between me and graduation.

I didn't weigh myself today. As per my post last week, I'm not weighing myself until next Wednesday. I feel good, but I know I went over my calories two days in the past week, which is good. I'm focusing more on calories than points, and it's pretty great.

I've been going to the gym regularly again. On Sunday, I went to the gym for 1 1/2 hours, and walked/ran about 5 miles. This movie was on, and even though I'd seen it before, I didn't want to miss it, so I kept going.

I've been doing weights! This is huge for me, and I'm really enjoying them. I'd like to get a few more weights, but the Nike+ app for my iPhone is SUCH a huge help! I can do weights in the comfort of my own home.

My cousin had her baby! I'll be posting a picture later today. It's a boy - Colton Michael and he's precious! I stayed over with her in the hospital on Monday night and I'm having a tough time catching up on my sleep. Oh well, babies are SO worth it. Although this doesn't help my baby fever, but I can spoil her kids until I have my own, right?

I'll keep chugging along though, and keep an eye out for picture update tonight!

I overate

In October, during Fall Break, I made a HUGE batch of my momma's homemade chicken noodle soup. I stuck it in the freezer. Well this weekend, I decided that the last big batch of it was just taking up too much space in the freezer and since we went to Costco, I needed that extra space. I took the soup out and we had it for dinner last night.

Well, I was a bit made at Mr. Skinny because he told me he was going to help his foreman cut a tree down quick - quick being the keyword here, folks. This was around 5 o'clock. Okay, no big deal, I'll make the noodles for the soup and just wait for him. 6 o'clock came, 6:30 came, 7 o'clock came. This is ridiculous!!! I text him and say I'm starving, where is he at? He just tells me to eat.

Fine. I'll eat. I won't be a nice wife and wait for my husband. And while I'm at it, I'll eat as much as I can so there's not much soup left. Yeah, bad idea. It didn't help that while I was waiting and starving, the noodles were calling my name something fierce. So I had a few spoonfuls of noodles. By the time I got around to eating the soup, I wasn't even that hungry. But it tasted SO good, and I wanted to deprive Mr. Skinny of eating too much of it. So I had two bowls. With croutons, and parmesan cheese (what? you don't put parmesan cheese on your chicken noodle soup?? you're missing out). It was glorious.

I didn't feel glorious though, I felt like garbage. Heck, I treated my body like a garbage. It wasn't pretty. Tuesday is my "peak day" and when I stepped on the scale this morning, it hated me. So I had to down as much water as I can today, and we'll see what the scale says in the morning.

It's a learning process. Last night was entirely emotional eating since I was mad at Mr. Skinny. I'll eventually learn not to do that. But come on, would you or could you say no to this...?

WI wednesday

i lost again - down another 0.4. it's not great, but i'll take it. especially after feeling so terrible on saturday night after having 2 pieces of lasagna and wishing i would throw it up. i won't let myself get like that this weekend, and i'm staying home so i can pretty easily stay OP while i'm home. hopefully i'll get to the gym friday, saturday and sunday. there's no reason why i shouldn't get there.

i'm almost done my second cycle of OP2Overcome, tomorrow will be my 21st day. i can't believe i have literally tracked every single day of january! that's a huge accomplishment! okay that's a lie, i've tracked every day since january 3rd, but still, that's pretty big. tracking has become such a habit now that i don't think i could not track a day. it's things like this that make me really excited and know that i can lose all this weight and get to my goal.

for my third cycle i'm going to get my GHGs in EVERYDAY and everyday after that, if i can't do it one day, then i have to start the cycle over again. hopefully this will be motivation to get 30 minutes of activity in everyday and focus more on my GHGs and correctly tracking everything. i'd really be able to continue with some great losses and hopefully get to goal by my 1 year WW-versary in may.

i'm still not sure what my goal will be. i might have another 18 pounds to lose, i might have 23 or maybe even 28 more to go. i'm not sure. i'm just going to have to see what my body looks like at those weights. 137 is the highest weight for a healthy BMI, but i'm a thicker boned girl, i don't know that i could get down to 130, although it would be great to say i lost 50 pounds. anyway, we'll cross that boarder when i get to it. for now i'll just keep moving toward that goal.

happy hump day all!

WI tuesday

I gained - again. I'm up to 163.2 and I've realized something; I've become comfortable with this number. First of all, this is not a good thing, I've just been so incredibly used to seeing these low 160s that it doesn't shock me when I step on the scale and that's what it says. I'm a little bummed that I got down to 160.8 for 2 weeks and blew it away, but this is a journey, not a race. I will kick the butt of the 160s and finally meet up with the 150s again, but hopefully not for too long. I don't want to get too friendly with them. I hope to break-up in about 2 months :) just in time for my birthday!

My first day back OP went very well yesterday, other than the few crackers I had, and a piece of cheese. BTW - did you know that light American Cheese is 0p+? Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Makes my egg sandwiches come down in p+! I'm continuing my cycle 2 of OP to overcome and I will rock this!

Last night I went to the gym after work and for whatever reason, my shin splints are coming back! Ugh! I thought I was over these. Mr. Skinny thought that maybe I needed new shoes, but these sneakers are only 6 months old, and it's not like I run tons of miles in them. I do want to get fitted for real running shoes, but I want that to be a goal - I need things to get me motivated. Or I was going to do it when I started half-marathon training, which I don't think is going to happen anymore. I feel like I need to do C25K again before I bother half-marathon training. I want to comfortably run 3 miles a few times a week, then I'll thinking about conquering that 13.1 miles.

Anyways, I'm going to a cycling class tonight. I'm kind of nervous, but I know that I can do it. I'm not likley to be the heaviest one in the class, or the only newbie. Tomorrow I might do kickboxing and pilates, I'm pretty excited. If I don't like the class, I don't have to go back. It's as simple as that.

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How long do your running shoes last? What are your favorite classes at the gym?

Office Christmas Party

...yeah, and I'm in charge. Oh yeah, I get to pick out the games, and make sure everyone signs up to bring food. I'm pretty proud of myself though, in regards to eating. I tried to track, I really tried to, but it's all casseroles, and souflees, and I'm not even sure what's in some of these things. I saved 19 WPs for this party, still have my 6 APs I earned on Friday, and had 16 DPs left (already tracked dinner). Even after tracking, I still have 9 WPs left, and I didn't touch my APs. I'm going to the gym after work today, already have my gym clothes, and I'll be earning some more APs.

Quick weekend recap: My parents came down on Saturday, we went to Red Lobster, but I got salmon and crab legs and didn't use any butter, but I did have my baked potato with sour cream and butter. Shame on me! Ate some of the appetizer, but I tracked what I could. The hubs and I got our Christmas tree! We decorated on Saturday night, along with a few glasses of wine. We went shopping yesterday and spent money we don't have. Come January 1st, we're done spending unnecessary money (more to come on that with my New Year's Resolutions Post).

Happy Monday everyone!

I'm baa-ack!

Sorry I've been slacking. I felt like I didn't have anything very important to update you guys on. I've fallen off the WW bandwagon, it's terrible. I think the bandwagon is dragging me along behind it actually. I can see it, it's always in my mind, but I don't really want to try to climb back on. I'm enjoying my crab dip, and banana bread w/ butter, and chicken noodle soup w/ buttered bread wayyy too much to climb back on that bandwagon right now. After Thanksgiving, I'll hop back on the bandwagon. I already have my meals planned out for next week, complete with points and all, even though they may be completely irrelevant because of the new WW plan. I do eat mostly home cooked, healthy meals, so I'm just going to keep my menu, and I'll see how the points play out with it.

On an update with my life. I went to see Harry Potter at midnight Thursday night/Friday am and I thought it was pretty awesome. This was the best movie by far. They followed the storyline, included a lot of lines from the book, although some things did annoy me, but that's what happens when you make a movie from a book.

My friends and I at the premiere.

Saturday I went with my mom up to NYC to see the Rockettes. We walked around Times Square, went into Macy's - holy cow is that Macy's HUGE! If you've never been there, it's 9 floors and takes up a whole block! It's incredible. Then we walked around the Toys R Us which is also huge, they have a ferris wheel in the Toys R Us - for real! And a Hagan-Daas, Seattle's Best Coffee, a moving T-Rex and a real size Barbie House. It was pretty cool.

Then we went to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall, and the show was really great, it was only about an hour and a half, but the synchronization was incredible. The costumes were really great, too.

Mom and I at Radio City

The Living Nativity

Christmas in NYC (I think?)

We had a great time in NYC. I think we're going to make it an annual thing for us. I'd like to go on a shopping trip next time, so we have the whole day to just walk around. I want to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, and just walk around all day.

On a side note - I'm getting sick, I think. My throat is starting to feel funny, and I'm blaming myself and the fact that I haven't been taking my vitamins like I used to. I did do a 30 minute run yesterday, and I'm pretty excited for that. Once the hubs gets on a normal paying schedule, like, ya know, without missing paid holidays because he just had to start a new job, I'm going to join a gym. I love running outside, and the cold doesn't bother me, but I don't really have the space to run. Okay, well I do, but it's all hills, and when I say ALL hills, I mean it. Yesterday I had to run on the road, there was no sidewalk since I ran farther, and I am not very excited about that. It made me very nervous.

The hubs seems to like his job, which is pretty good, he's working a lot longer days, which it hard for both of us to get used to. We'll have to start going away on weekends he's not working, just to spend some time together.

It's almost Thanksgiving, and I've decided that I will only eat stuffing, turkey and green bean casserole, and I will only have 1 plateful. That's my plan for my parents' thanksgiving dinner. My in-laws might be a different story however, and I'm not sure what my plan of attack will be for that dinner.

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What is your plan of attack for Thanksgiving dinner?

Where are you going for T-day?

Relaxing Weekend

We had a great weekend, I'm not going to lie and it was glorious! Friday night we went to Costco and Walmart to get our food for the next week. Well more than a week's worth of food at Costco. Saturday we slept in, watched college football then finally got dressed and went on a date! :) We went to see Due Date, which was pretty funny, not as good as The Hangover, but still pretty funny. We grabbed some pizza and went out for ice cream. I tracked everything, used my weeklies, but I tracked everything as best I could.

Today we got up and watched Charles Stanley. I had a field trip to go on, so we couldn't go to church. We went to the Smithsonian - Museum of Natural History. After we were done with the exhibit, a bunch of us grabbed lunch. We went to a pub, it was the only restaurant that we could find, and I got a chicken Caesar salad, but I split a brownie sundae with one of the other girls. We didn't eat the whole thing, which was a NSV - non scale victory - in itself. We got some walking in, too, so that was a plus. I didn't get to run this weekend, though. It was a relaxing weekend.

I will say that I stayed OP all weekend, I tracked everything, and I used all my weeklies and 2 of my APs, but that's okay. I made the plan work, and I'm determined to have a good WI on Tuesday.

The hubs applied to a few more jobs, but we're really hoping for this one job, and it's the only lead we have. He's going to call the company again on Tuesday and see if they have any updates. I pray that we get this job, and soon. I know God has a plan for us though. I'm okay though, and I don't really know why. I'm not worried, it's strange. I'm still happy. I'm hoping that its because I know God has a plan, but it might just be that it didn't hit us yet.

WI Friday - not really

I peeked at the scale today - I had to, it's Friday and I have weighed myself every Friday for months, since May. I'm down 2 lbs. since Tuesday!!! I was debating on changing my WI day to Friday since I think I do really well on Friday, even after eating not very well all weekend, I still managed to loose a pound. I seriously have no idea how that happened, but it did.

Another thing, I think I have to change my workout schedule. Initially I wanted to work out 5x/week, and I think I'll still do that, but instead of doing my 30 Day Shred on Tuesdays and Thursday mornings, I'm going to change it to yoga on those mornings. I still need to strength train sometime, but I'm still not so sure when I can do that. I should just do it after I run, or before I run - which is better?

Updates about the hub's job - he might have work until the 19th, maybe. But he might have found another job! There is an excavating company about 30 minutes from where we live, and we went there yesterday to apply and they have a position! We're definitely praying for this one, but we'll see how it goes. I won't get my hopes up, but I know that our God is an awesome God and can do anything. Nothing is impossible with Him! Please pray that we find something, and soon.

WI Tuesday

I gained 1 lb. since last Friday's WI. I'm not taking this to heart, considering I just weighed myself 4 days ago, and ate garbage all weekend. It's a new start, yet again, but at least I haven't totally wrecked my day. I'm okay with this, slow and steady wins the race, for sure. It also could have been the junk I ate last night since I didn't really like the dinner I made - zucchini sticks and sweet potato fries. I ate leftover pasta and a baked potato instead, yeah, I know, not a good swap. Needless to say, I knew the scale was going to go up, and I'm hoping that now since I WI Tuesday mornings, I'll keep myself more accountable on the weekends.

I'm currently doing 2 different challenges on the 20's WW board: 4-weeks-2-thanks. This is an AP challenge, so I set my goal for 50 APs by Thanksgiving, and although I may have sat and watched my 30 Day Shred instead of doing it this morning, it was a start. I successfuly woke up at 5:45 and stayed up. The other challenge started at the end of Sept: 90 Day "My Way" challenge. I picked a weight goal for this one. I initially picked 15 lbs, but seeing as how I'm pretty much the same I was at the beginning of Oct. I just changed it to 10 lbs.

I have to keep running, and I need to use my time wisely. I can't use excuses for getting out of working out anymore. Yes, I know that I'm getting to love running, and pretty good at it, too, but I need to strength train, and cross train. I still haven't figured out exactly what cross training is, but I need to find out and do it. I'm thinking I'll do my 30 Day Shred on Tuesday mornnigs, and Thursday mornings will be my relaxation day, and I'll do a 50 min. yoga tape. I run Mondays, Wednesdays, and either Friday or Saturday. I seriously can't do anything Tuesday or Thursday evenings, I get home too late. There's no reason why I can't get up every day and do strength M/W/F and Shred Tuesday and Yoga Thursday. I just need to stick to it.

Okay, rant over. No one can do anything about this but myself.