WI tuesday

I gained - again. I'm up to 163.2 and I've realized something; I've become comfortable with this number. First of all, this is not a good thing, I've just been so incredibly used to seeing these low 160s that it doesn't shock me when I step on the scale and that's what it says. I'm a little bummed that I got down to 160.8 for 2 weeks and blew it away, but this is a journey, not a race. I will kick the butt of the 160s and finally meet up with the 150s again, but hopefully not for too long. I don't want to get too friendly with them. I hope to break-up in about 2 months :) just in time for my birthday!

My first day back OP went very well yesterday, other than the few crackers I had, and a piece of cheese. BTW - did you know that light American Cheese is 0p+? Yeah, that's pretty awesome. Makes my egg sandwiches come down in p+! I'm continuing my cycle 2 of OP to overcome and I will rock this!

Last night I went to the gym after work and for whatever reason, my shin splints are coming back! Ugh! I thought I was over these. Mr. Skinny thought that maybe I needed new shoes, but these sneakers are only 6 months old, and it's not like I run tons of miles in them. I do want to get fitted for real running shoes, but I want that to be a goal - I need things to get me motivated. Or I was going to do it when I started half-marathon training, which I don't think is going to happen anymore. I feel like I need to do C25K again before I bother half-marathon training. I want to comfortably run 3 miles a few times a week, then I'll thinking about conquering that 13.1 miles.

Anyways, I'm going to a cycling class tonight. I'm kind of nervous, but I know that I can do it. I'm not likley to be the heaviest one in the class, or the only newbie. Tomorrow I might do kickboxing and pilates, I'm pretty excited. If I don't like the class, I don't have to go back. It's as simple as that.

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How long do your running shoes last? What are your favorite classes at the gym?

Goodbye SparkPeople! Hi again, WW...

Yes, I will be back on WW now. I liked Spark People, I wanted it to work, but I think it's my own fault that it didn't work, for me, as well as I would have liked. I loved that I could eat peanut butter without having a serious cut in my points. I need the good fat, but I'm not content with a pb&banana sandwich being 9 points on WW, I'll get my good fat in other ways.

I know I went to Olive Garden this past weekend, but I thought I did good. And yes, I may have snuck some fries in last night for dinner, but I only ate half of them. I'm just frustrated right now and I'm sick of tracking what I eat.

The reason behind this switch was my WI this morning - I maintained. Now I had/have (not sure if I still do) a goal of being 150 by Christmas. I started the month of Oct. at 165, I figured 5lbs./month and I could easily get there. Well I forgot to factor in my fantastic week of the month where I gain or maintain because of my "being a woman", if ya know what I mean. I'll keep going, but I'm frustrated. I've been running this week, too, and maybe I just didn't drink enough water or something. I want to have a bangin' week, I haven't seen one of those in a month. I need to track everything, honestly, and truthfully. I've been planning my meals out, mostly, and sticking to them. I've been getting all my GHGs in.

On a side note, the hubs didn't get paid for his overtime he worked last week, and we're just barely making it by, and it's his birthday and I really wanted to go out to eat tonight, but he said we don't have the money, but it's his birthday! I know he just has to talk to the accountant, at least I hope and think so, and they'll pay him for it. What a crappy Friday, is it time to go home yet?

As for this weekend's plans, we're going to my cousin's house tomorrow after Chuck gets off work. At least I'll be able to get a run in either tonight or tomorrow, and I can eat a good, healthy breakfast and lunch before who knows what I'll eat for dinner. Sunday is Chuck's birthday, so who knows what I'll eat then, too. I just need to be smart, and make a conscious effort to stay on track.

I'll probably post tomorrow and do a monthly recap, not so excited for that, I don't think I've done very well.

WI Friday

I'm down 0.6 - I'm not dissappointed, really, I was just hoping that maybe because I had no clue what to expect I'd have one of those really lucky WIs and loose like 2 lbs. No, my luck doesn't work like that. I'm not complaining, a loss is a loss, and I've been loosing pretty consistantly.

I think my body is working out with my increase of running now. And I've been tracking on SP rather than WW, and with that comes eating more "points" I think. With my WI this week, I think I'm going to keep tracking on SP and see how the next few weeks go, then I might cancel my WW subscription, after I print all my fav. recipes, of course.

I'm hoping I have an awesome WI maybe next week, I'm never going to get to my goal of being 150 by Christmas, and 135 by my birthday in March. I'll push back to being at goal by next summer, I want to look awesome in a bikini - I know, selfish & vain reasoning.

We're headed to PA this weekend - where we both grew up. I'm cooking for my family tomorrow evening, and that will def. be WW friendly - but who knows what else I'll be eating, and I'll try to eat well, and track everything. I'm definitely going for a run tomorrow, and I think I'm going shopping with my mom, so I'll get some walking in. I can't plan for everything though, and I know that. It's a part of the journey and I need to learn to go with the flow, and make smart choices. I CAN do this!

Mid monthly review

Let’s take a little time and see how I'm doing with this month's goals. I still can't believe that it's halfway through October. Christmas will be here before we know it! If I haven't mentioned it, I'm a Christmas fanatic! I own 30+ pairs of Christmas socks, and my wedding was Christmas themed. Not tacky Christmas themed, but the girls had red dresses, red roses; the centerpieces were Christmas ball ornaments in glass vases. I think it was a pretty classy themed wedding if I do say so myself.

Anyways, back to my goal review:

- Continue keeping up on schoolwork: I think I've been pretty successful here. I generally keep up on my reading.

- Keep being kind to Chuck: Pretty good here, too. I've really been trying to pray and ask God for help me be kinder, and I think it's helping.

- Plan meals and keep a food budget: check on this one. We've come across something else that made us have an even smaller paycheck, so I need to perfect this. Last night we went food shopping and only spent $60, and I was really proud of myself for that.

- Read Bible/pray and go to church: I haven't been to church since last month, but I have been reading my Bible and turning to God a lot more than I had been.

- Go to church every Sunday in October: See above.

WW goals:

- Continue C25K: Check! In fact I just got back from my almost completed W5D2 workout. I only did 6 1/2 min for the last one rather than 8, but I think that's because I didn't eat breakfast before I went out, so I was weak. I'm going to try it again once more time, maybe two before I head out for the 20 minute run.

- Weights, crunches and push-ups daily: I do triceps lifts just about everyday. I'm not a fan of the nasty arm flab, you know what I'm talking about. But in regards to crunches and push-ups, I'd say maybe 4-5 times a week or so. Not bad, but I'm getting my biceps back! I don't know if it was from yoga or what, but it's fabulous. I miss my biceps. I was a cheerleader for 10 years, and my arms were ripped! I've since lost it, but my biceps are making a comeback and I'm SO excited!

- Track: Success! I've tracked for the most part, and I've been a lot better with tracking weekends now.

- Get GHGs in everyday: I'd say this is success, too. I've been very conscious about what I'm putting in my mouth. I'm more aware of the vitamins and such that are in my food.

Alrighty, time to shower after my workout! Happy Saturday!

It's Hump Day!

I'm pretty happy about this. I did leave work at 11:30 on Monday and I successfully wrote my paper for tomorrow. I had one midterm last night, and it went okay. I have another tomorrow and my professor for the last one decided to do a take home midterm, which I'm kind of bummed about. I was looking forward to being done with midterms and since I don't have any midterms the week after fall break, I'm planning on vegging on the couch all weekend. I know I have some catch up work to do, but that's it.

I'm going to make the hubs his favorite meal - Sicilian meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, and broccoli smothered in butter. WW friendly? Heck no, but it'll be worth it. He's kind of stressed with our money situation right now, and I'm not helping at all. Hubs does the bills, and I feel like I need to take that over, then maybe it will teach me that we don't have money, and that money doesn't grow on trees, and we don't have a hidden savings somewhere. Then hopefully he won't be as stressed. He's having a hard time at work, too. He's such a hard worker, and the people that the company hires are crap. They're older, sliding from job to job to pay their child support and their divorces and new girlfriends. Chuck's waiting for a foreman title, then I think he's going to look elsewhere for a new job. I pray that he can find one, he's not making enough money for what he's doing, and the company is so tiny and is always on the edge of bankruptcy.

With that, I get to work for the day. I'm eating terrible this week, and I am fully expecting that scale to stay where it was last week or go up. Honestly, I might not weight myself this week and just wait until next week. I'm not feeling it this week, and I think that's okay. Maybe next Mon/Tues while I'm home I can get some good workouts in, maybe go for a walk and jog. I think I like that idea better than weighing myself on Friday, I just get depressed when the scale goes up.

Side note: I was talking to the hubs about eating healthier. His great grandfather died of a heart attack, his grandfather has a terrible heart, his father had a heart attack at 47, and I know who's next in this line.. He keeps saying that he works off all the calories, which he does, he's as thin as a rail, but he's not eating healthy. I'm going to try to help him. I mean he eats vegetables at home for dinner, but that's about it. I've been trying to give him grapes or something in his lunch, but he needs something he can grab and go, and I don't really have good ideas about that. Any suggestions?

WI Friday - SV again & October goals

Woo Hoo! I'm so psyched - I'm down another 1.4 lbs. this week which brings me down to 164.4. Yay! I was hoping to see that 164 number on the scale. I'm so glad I've finally figured it out, I just need to track. Yeah, I know it's simple and it's what WW is all about, but it just clicked. I consciously think about what I'm eating and I make sure to get my GHG (good health guidelines) in just about everyday, with the exception of the activity. I've been slacking in that department, but I try to do my weights, crunches and push ups everyday, just for something.

Okay, so let's look at my September goals and see how I did before setting up my October goals:

September Goals:
- Keep up on school - success for the most part. I've started to fall a little bit behind on my reading, but I'm doing better than I normally did, I think.
- Read Bible/pray daily - success again, well half. I've definitely read my Bible, mostly 2x/day, and I'm pretty excited that it's become a normal part of my routine. The praying part is a little bit harder, but I'm still working on it.
- Keep food budget - Success. Other than our trips to Walmart/Costco, I generally stay within my budget for food.
- Be more outgoing - Okay, this is a fail. Since I'm a senior, friends have already been established and I don't think I'll make more friends.
- Be kinder to my hubby - I think this is a kind of success. We still have our disagreements, but I think I'm being a little nicer, I'll keep working on it though.
- Continue jogging - Yep, continued. Not as much as I would have liked to, but I've definitely continued.
- Lift weights - Nope, failed, but I'll keep working
- Push ups - Kind of done. I can do 15 real push ups now :)
- TRACK! - As I've mentioned before, I've discovered the amazingness of tracking everything
- Eat cleaner foods - I like to think that I've done better. I think I have, but I'm still using some processed foods, but my snacks have turned into carrots and dip and bananas rather than chocolate covered pretzel 100 cal. packs.

Overall: not too bad I think. I started the month at 169.2 and ended it today at 164.4 and I think that's pretty awesome. 5lbs. a month is really realistic I think, and if I continue that, I'll be at goal by my birthday in March, which I think is my new goal. 150 by Christmas, and 135 by my birthday. I'll still keep going month by month, though. I don't really know what I want to do once I get to goal. Obviously I don't think I need to keep paying for WW - maybe I'll switch over to Spark People? That'd be free at least. I've been playing around with it, and I really like how it tells you if you're eating enough fat, protein, carbs, calories, etc. rather than just giving you a certain number of points. The only thing I don't like about it, so far, is that I have to transfer all my recipes over to it.

Okay, let's set up some October goals:

Non WW first:
- Continue keeping up on schoolwork. This has to come first. I need good grades to get a good job so I can make better money so that I can have babies quicker! If I think of it like that, maybe I'll actually keep up on my readings and such.
- Keep being kind to Chuck. If he leaves dishes in the sink, don't yell at him for it. Be extra grateful when he does extra chores for me. Don't hold grudges, and forgive as Christ forgives.
- Plan meals and keep a food budget. We just opened a Costco card, so we bought enough snacks for hubs to last a loooong time. I won't have to buy him snacks for quite a while. I just need to cook simple meals with a few ingredients, and it'll be cheaper. Cook leftovers for both him and me for lunches and we're set.
- Read Bible/pray and go to church. As mentioned in my previous post on Monday, we're having troubles going to church. It's so much easier to wake up 5 minutes before Charles Stanley is on and watch it from bed rather than get up, get dressed and drive 25 minutes to church. My goal is to go to church every Sunday in October.

WW goals:
- Continue C25K. If I kept on the program, I should be able to run a 5K by the end of the month. I don't know if I'll be able to continue it that strictly, but I'm sure going to try. I'm on week 5, and I can so finish this by mid November.
- Weights, crunches and push ups daily. That way, even if C25K isn't on my important to do list, I can do these things while watching TV or doing homework, and it's some activity in.
- Track! This is HUGE - as long as I keep tracking and holding myself accountable, I can keep loosing weight. It's easy, and I can do it.
- Get GHGs in everyday. Or at least make an effort to consciously think about what I'm eating.

There you have 'em. I think I'll do a check up around the middle of the month to see how I'm doing. I still can't believe it's October already...

Happy Hump Day!

Remember that paper that was due tomorrow, ya know, the one I was supposed to finish this weekend while the hubs was working? Yeah, my prof is awesome and extended the due date! Now it's not due until next Thursday. She told us though, that the papers had to be extra good, no grammatical errors, no huge problems, so we'll see how this goes. I won't be home this weekend, of course again, and I have 3 midterms next week, so I need to get on this paper.

In other news, we have an office party today. I'm trying to be good, I'm trying to plan, but I know what delicious food there will be. Oh, an update: I saved about half my weeklies for the party today, but in honor of our 6th dating anniversary, the hubs took me out to eat to Ruby Tuesdays on Monday after work. I think I did pretty well, I ordered a fit & trim meal - Chicken Bella, but I succumbed to their salad bar. I did track this however, but now I'm stuck with no extra points for the party today. There's going to be lasagna, artichoke dip, french onion soup (that I made, and not to toot my own horn, but it's pretty awesome), homemade pizza, all kinds of awesome desserts. But I also know that there is going to be fruit, a salad, and veggies. I had a small breakfast, and even though I'm making homemade chicken fingers and fries for dinner, I'll only eat the fries and maybe a veg or something. I need to not give into temptation. I can do this. I want to lose weight, and I'm doing so well.

Nothing else is really new, I'm resisting the temptation pretty well of not getting the scale out every day to weigh myself. I think about it every morning, I just want to see how I'm doing, but I know that I shouldn't. I won't do it. I'll wait until Friday. Points wise, I think I'm doing pretty well, I'm getting my GHGs in every day, other than my activity, I'm having problems with that. I'm loosing time to work out. And when I work out, it's not really a work out, it's an 30 min. walk/jog and not an intense work out. I should go back to my 30 Day Shred, I can get all sweated up in 20 minutes, but I still don't know exactly how many calories I'm burning. I can only guesstimate. Oh well, that's life.

Another side note: I discovered Spark People - well correction. I knew about Spark People, but I just started actually following through with putting my stuff on it and seeing where I am. I only did it one day, but I will say, I'm pretty good with everything. I got too much fat in yesterday, but it was generally okay. I think I might continue with that, and maybe eventually I can quit paying for WW, and just do Spark People. Anyone else like Spark People?

Alright back to convincing myself I don't need to eat lasagna and artichoke dip for the office party today.. I don't need it, I don't need it.

Fair Update

I'm not gonna lie, I think I did great at the fair! I tracked everything and I ate what I wanted! It was wonderful! If you remember my post from yesterday, I knew I wanted to eat a crab cake sandwich and cheese fries, which I did, and they were delicious. But I forgot about a gyro - omigosh, I LOVE gyros. I made a deal with the hubs, we'd split a gyro, and we did. I was so proud of myself. The only other thing that I had was 1/2 of my husband's large homemade root beer, man was that good. Normally I don't like soda, mostly because of the fizziness, and this one was not fizzy really at all, so I was chugging it down like it was water, but I tracked it, and that's all that matters!




I feel like this is a turning point in my weight loss journey. I *can* live a normal life and eat what I want and loose weight, I just need to track. It clicked! I need to plan and know what I'm going into, there's no reason for me to not eat a gyro at the fair, but I can share it instead of eating the whole thing myself. Really I didn't need to eat all those cheese fries either, but I had no one to share them with. Hubs had an apple dumpling and he's a skinny little thing so when he's full, he's full and there's not shoving any more food in him. But I really needed my cheese fries, so I tracked it all.

This weekend we'll be eating at home, because the end of the month is always the tightest part of the month for us, so I'll be cooking in this weekend. Hubs is working today, so I'm home alone. I *should* be working on my paper, and going for a run, but what am I doing? Watching food network. I know, not the best idea. Oh well. It's too hot to run. I slept in this morning, and it's too hot to go out now, so maybe I'll go out tonight. Oh wait, it's hot all day. Yeah, forget that, I'll drag hubs out of bed with me tomorrow to run with me. Maybe I'll do my walk away the lbs. this afternoon or something when I need a break, or a way to procrastinate. :)

Back to procrastinating...

Happy Saturday everyone!

Holy Scale Victory Batman!

Oh man, I'm so excited! This is a *great* start to a Friday. I lost 2.8 lbs. in 2 weeks and am *super* excited about it. I was so incredibly anxious to get on the scale, hoping for the best, but preparing myself for the worst. I would have been thrilled if I got into 166.9 or something, but I'm down to 165.8! Yay! Go me! This is proof that I can do it, I just need to follow the plan. I need to track weekends, I even had chicken fingers last night for dinner!

This week's problem? I'm going to the fair tonight. Yes. The fair. I'm going to try to be really smart in my choices. But it's the fair! MD fairs have crabcake sandwiches, so I'll probably get one of those, and I might get cheese fries, cause they're awesome.. and maybe deep fried pickles if I can find them...
This might be very dangerous. I'm going to try to track what I can, but if e-tools doesn't have it, then I have no idea how to judge how many points it is. Honestly, though, this should be the only time I'm eating unhealthy all weekend, and that's my problem area. I won't stuff myself, my stomach has definitely shrunk since I've been on WW - I couldn't finish my 3 egg whites and homemade hashbrown potatoes this morning! That's a first for me.

I'm totally getting in a pattern with my food and when I need to eat while I'm at school and whatnot. It's great.

Side note: I'm thinking of trying to go vegetarian. Maybe not full out veg, and I don't think I could be a true vegetarian - maybe lacto-ovo, I love my eggs and seafood too much for that. It would be really hard because DH is a carnivore, and I don't think I could convince him to do it with me - he wouldn't feel manly anymore. I know, it's just how he is, he doesn't care about eating healthy. So I might try to cook more vegetarian recipes and see how that works out.

Another NSV (non scale victory) - today I'm wearing my size 6 jeans! Size 6!!! I am SO proud of myself! I might try to convince DH to go let me buy another pair of jeans - maybe a size 4?? I can't even fathom wearing a size 4... wow...

Anyways, back to work and to enjoy my shrinking body :)

Goodbye shin splits - I hope to NEVER meet you again!

Yes! Finally, I believe my shin splints are gone. I think I was just running too fast, so I slowed down, and now that I'm mostly used to running, at least for 5 minutes at a time, my shins don't hurt. This was a huge problem for me! I couldn't walk a mile around the office without getting shin splints. I eventually bought running sneakers, and new arch supports, and eventually, now my shins don't hurt anymore.

I'm still on week 5, Day 1 of C25K. I've been slacking, mostly because I don't like running at 5:30 am anymore; it's too dark, and creepy. I think my parents are going to give me their treadmill, but who knows when we'll be able to get it down to us. I feel so accomplished when I run, it's a great feeling. I feel like I'm working better. I still get winded, but I'm trying, I'm really trying. I usually can't finish that last 5 minutes of running, so I ran 3 minutes of it today. My goal is to do a marathon before I have kids, that's what I want to work up to. I'm hoping to do a few 5Ks and maybe 10K next year and I'll go from there.

I'm getting a little bit anxious about my WI on Friday. I don't know what to expect. I know what I hope for, but I don't know if the scale is going to fall quite as far down as I'd like. I tracked everything, and I still have a few APs left, which, again, is HUGE for me. I'm quite convinced the scale will go down, but we'll see. I feel better, and I think my stomach is shrinking, but we'll see.

On a side note: I finished my paper on Monday! Woo hoo! That was a whole 3 days before it was due! I never do that! And I had my first test of the semester yesterday, which was pretty good, but I know I didn't get an A, and I'm okay with that. I have another paper to do this weekend, which is why we aren't going up to PA for my inlaws get together, which I kind of feel bad, but I told the hubs to go without me, and he won't. He hates making the drive himself, which is understandable, but I feel bad for being the reason why he can't go. Oh well, marriage is about compromising, right?

I'll check in on Friday probably, and see how my WI went.. I'm nervous...

Huge NSV! I tracked a weekend!

Seriously, I don't think I've ever tracked a weekend. Last summer when I lost 25 lbs. I never tracked. I worked a physically hard job, and lost 25 lbs. really without even trying. I could earn up to 15 APs a night just by working. Weekends were my time off. Having that as my habit, this year when I started WW again, I continued not tracking weekends. I know that's where I'm having problems, and why I've been stuck at the same weight for almost 2 months.

But this weekend was different. I had a plan. I tracked everything! I am SO proud of myself. I keep praying that I have like a 3 or 4 lb. loss so that I can see what WW does work, I know it does, but if I tracked all weekend and don't lose anything, it's gonna be really hard to keep going and track weekends.

Friday night I planned out what I was going to eat. We stopped at Sheetz on the way up to PA, and I got a 6 inch turkey sub w/ mustard and no cheese, fries, and a salad with ranch dressing. Saturday I had a Clif bar for breakfast, and I stopped at Sheetz for lunch and got a Cuban sandwich and a banana, and dinner I made a WW dinner for my parents. One thing I didn't plan was ice cream. Mr. Hubs has been craving ice cream from a local ice cream place all summer, so we had to go there. My initial plan was to have Chuck go with his friends and I would stay home and talk to my parents, but I was kidnapped, no, really. My husband called and said we're picking you up, we're in your driveway. I was annoyed, but oh well. Yesterday I had my oatmeal for breakfast before church, but my in laws decided to make another breakfast before we went hiking. That breakfast consisted of basically fried potatoes, eggs, turkey bacon andbuttered toast, but I tracked it all! We went hiking then, and I earned 9 APs! We took sandwiches, and I made a turkey sandwich on an Arnold's thin bread with mustard, and I did have a pack of crackers, but I tracked it. This is huge for me. I never track weekends, and I'm so proud of myself that I did.

Hopefully I can get a few runs in this week, and I do have my yoga class, too. I'm really praying for that scale to go down this week, and I'm praying that if it doesn't, I'll still keep tracking.

On a side note, I think my mom and I are going to NYC in November to see the Rockettes! I'm so excited!! My mom has been wanting to see them forever, and we finally get to go! It's a bus trip, my parents only live about 2 1/2 hours from NYC, and I'm super excited to go and see the Christmas tree outside Rockefeller Center!

I'm ready to face this week, minus the test, quiz and paper that I have this week. My plan is to work on my paper today since my bosses aren't here. I'm really going to try hard to get it done, that would be a huge weight off my shoulders. We didn't get back until really late last night, like always, so we couldn't go food shopping last night, and I have barely any fruits/vegs to eat today. I'm planning on going after work, and I need to finish my paper so I have the time to go.

Happy Monday everyone!

Finally Friday - TGIF!

I feel like this week has gone on forever. I also feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster this week. I don't really know why, but I was so down, I'd be willing to say depressed, for 2 days, and now I'm all good. I'm just frustrated with a lot of things, but I know that everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for it all.

I'm so happy it's Friday, and normally it's WI day, buuuut I've been having a problem with being a daily weigher and it's taken a toll on me, so I had the hubs hide the scale on me. I'm thinking of going to WI every other Friday rather then every Friday. I don't know if this will hurt or hinder me, but it's worth a shot. I still don't think I've lost anything, and I know it's because I'm not really tracking perfectly, I ate garbage this week, but I'm aware of that and blame my monthly present from mother nature for that. I haven't been exercising as much as I should. I wish I had the time to spend hours at the gym, but I don't. I have time to do about a 30 minute something in the morning if I choose to get up, and maybe a 30 minute walk, but only on Mondays and Wednesdays, maybe Fridays and the weekend. I know all this, but I still feel like I can't change anything. I want to be thin, I want to be healthy, I want to eat cleaner, real foods, but I'm stuck in a rut.

I confess - on Wednesday I wanted Kraft mac & cheese so bad, so that's what we had for dinner: Kraft mac & cheese with hot dogs, but at least I made broccoli with it. For whatever reason, I didn't buy enough food for this week, some of it went bad, and I had virtually nothing to eat for lunch or dinner yesterday since I need to take it to school with me so what did I buy? Chicken fingers and fries. Now my school doesn't really have any fast healthy options, no lie on that, so I gave in to the fried goodness.

This weekend we're going up to PA to see the family - both of them, mine and hubs'. I'm going to track, I'm going to tell Chuck this and he's going to help remind me to track. I have my dinner planned out for tonight, we're going to Sheetz because my hubby is cheap and eats 2 hot dogs for 99 cents, I'm getting a turkey sub w/o cheese and some lettuce, pickles and mustard. Maybe I'll steal a few of hubs' fries...
I'm taking packets of oatmeal to eat for breakfast tomorrow and Sunday morning. Tomorrow evening I'm going to make a WW meal for my parents - Pasta with tomatoes, herb and feta, which is originally Cappellini with tomatoes, herbs and goat cheese, but I changed it a bit. We're also going to have some asparagus and I might poach some chicken in chicken broth to mix in because I know my dad won't be very happy if there's no meat in this meal. So that's planned. The only meals I won't know will be tomorrow's lunch and Sunday lunch and dinner. Normally I eat like a pig on the weekends, and don't track, so I'll keep myself accountable and I'll be able to stay OP.
Sunday we're going hiking, kayaking and canoeing with my in-laws. I'm super excited for the kayaking/canoeing part. I'm not a big hiker, but I'll go along just to have some socialization. Hopefully I'll get some hardcore APs in, and I'll make up for whatever junk I'll be eating for lunch and dinner, although I'll try to be good.

Whew! I feel good now that I have a plan. That's what I need to do. No matter where I go, I can easily have a 3 or 4 point healthy breakfast if I take my cereal or my oatmeal. I can do this, I can beat this plateau (I know it's not really a plateau, but I'm calling it that to make myself feel better).

mini pity party

Holy cow, where did September go? It's halfway through the month already! I figured I would look back on my September goals and see where I am. I have a HUGE feeling that I'm failing pretty drastically. I've been feeling down this week, my weight loss has come to a stop, and I know that it's my own fault because I eat whatever every weekend.

I hate school, okay, I don't hate it, but I really don't like it. I've become a stronger Christian since I've been married and going to a very liberal school full time again just annoys me, no one has any values or morals. I'm trying to help my brother find a school and while I'm doing that, I find a school that I *should have* listened to my mom 4 years ago because she told me to go visit it. I *should have* gone there because it would have been awesome, they have a degree in peace and conflict studies! Seriously?! Why, oh why, didn't I listen to my mom. Now don't get me wrong, I've found my three best friends at my current school and wouldn't give them up for the world, but I would have loved to have gone to a Christian school.

Along with baby fever, I don't like going to school with women who think that I'm nuts for wanting to have kids at age 21 and not go back to work ever. I want some Christian friends that understand why I feel that way. On that note, one of my best friends just came back from Germany for a year, and she was opinionated before but now she's ever more opinionated. She really thinks I'm nuts for wanting to have kids, period. I feel like she never takes anyone else's opinion into consideration.

I feel like I need a change. I really wish I could go back in time and go to a Christian college. Then I'm trying to help my brother who wants to go to community college for two years because it's cheap, which is true, but I'm so against staying and home and going to school. I feel like you need to move away and be on your own, become independent and free from your parents. Make mistakes, learn from them. Eat chocolate for dinner every night without your mom telling you to eat your veggies. Student loans are NOT that bad. Yes, it sucks, but if you're smart with how much you take out, and get a work study job, you can do it. I'm trying to see if it really is a good idea for my brother to go to a community college, then I think that I'm trying to live through him to go to the Christian school that I would have loved to go to.

Pity party over, I hope. I need to get out of this funk, take every day at a time and make life a masterpiece.

weekend update along with a few non scale victories!

I had a good, but not very productive weekend. I need to take advantages of the weekends that I'm home and do homework, but no, what did I do? Procrastinated. Go me. Friday night I have a few friends over and we watched movies and drank, nothing dramatic, but I wasn't counting points as I was shoveling pizza, brownies, ice cream and wine into my mouth. Saturday morning I made everyone scrambled eggs and potatoes - totally felt like a mom, it was awesome!

After the girls left, hubby and I cleaned up, and went shopping. Now, if you've been following for awhile, you know we're pretty tight on our budget, I've been trying really hard to keep a tight food budget, and not spend any extra money. When I suggested that we go to the outlets, I asked if I could buy a few things, and Chuck said it was okay. I got super excited. I had three things on my wish list, a brown sweater, jeans, and possibly shoes. What did I come home with? A trench, a sweater, 2 shirts, 4 tank tops, jeans, a pasta pot, an egg flipper, and a scrub brush. Yeah, not so much everything on my wish list. I got the jeans I wanted. The sweater I got wasn't a brown one either. That's a huge fail on my part. I could blame Chuck and say that he let me do it, but I knew better.

Anyways, it was done, and we went to Bob Evans for dinner. I got chicken parm, with a salad and had one roll. I was so beyond stuffed by the time my chicken parm came out, I only ate about 10 bites, but it looked like I ate nothing! I don't know why I was so stuffed. All I had all day was the eggs and potatoes that morning. So that was a NSV.

Another NSV - the jeans I bought from Levi's were a size 6. Last weekend I bought a size 8 - I originally wore a size 10. I thought I would use the size 6 jeans to motivate myself to lose more weight seeing as I've been stalling forever it seems, but it's my own fault. Anyways, I tried the jeans on once I got home, just to see how they fit and holy cow, they fit! Not like super comfortably, but I can get them up and buttoned! That's a size 6!!! I don't even know the last time I wore a size six. I should have gotten a size 4, wow, I can't even fathom fitting in a size 4. Maybe next time...

Yesterday, we slept in, even though we should have gotten up and gone to church, we're both not big fans of change, which is why we still haven't found a church in our area. It's easier to watch Charles Stanley at home then it is to meet new people and find a new church. I told him we have to find a church before we have kids. After a while, we went grocery shopping, and we went to Target where I finally got my brown sweater, along with yoga pants, and some luna/clif bars. We went to Walmart, too, and I finally kept the food budget under $100! Yay me! That's another NSV - we're up to four NSVs if you're keeping count. ;)

I finally started on my homework around 2pm, and read for religion and anthropology, then I made dinner - tacos! - and we decided to go play tennis. I remember when we started playing tennis, I would walk to get the ball, not give it my all, and no way would I really run after the ball. While we were playing, it hit me - I was running, sprinting to hit the ball back, running to pick up the ball when I missed, and it felt great! Another NSV - that's 5 NSVs in one weekend!

After we played for 45 minutes, Chuck and I decided to run, it was so cool out, and it was just perfect weather. Now my husband is 6 foot, and I'm only 5'1", so he has these monsterous legs compared to mine. He's naturally more in shape than I am - construction worker - and can run faster, but we actually ran together. We've decided we're going to try to run together Mon/Wed/Fri every week. That way I don't have to get up at 5:30am everyday to run, seeing as I don't like running when it's quite that dark. And it's getting cold in the morning, not cool, which is the reason I was doing it this summer, but cold. We'll just play it by ear, and I really hope that we can run together, I would love to have a running buddy, someone to motivate me and keep me accountable. Maybe I'll keep getting up in the morning and I can do my 30 Day Shred which I haven't done in literally, more than a month.

One last minor NSV - I had one taco for dinner yesterday. One taco! Granted I was kind of munching all day on Tositoes and salsa/cheese, but I only had chips, leftover chicken parm, and one taco yesterday. I think that's pretty good for me, don't ya think?

All in all, other than spending money and not being productive school-wise, it was a fairly awesome weekend. I'm ready to keep loosing weight this week, especially with Chuck to help motivate me and keep me accountable :)

Have a great Monday!

back to tracking...

Okay, so I gained this week. It's not a total shocker, I used the excuse of not counting points so that I could splurge on peanut butter, and trail mix. Oh, I had a piece of cake this week, too. I only worked out Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I'm still trying to find balance between everything, but I have the sweetest husband ever! Thursdays I have late class, so Chuck does laundry, feeds himself, and usually whatever other chores he can find. This is after he works a 10 hour day, outside, in the 95 degree DC heat. When I came home last night, he rearranged the furniture in the living room and put the desk in there so that I have a desk to do my homework on. He also bought me flowers! And they were pink - my favorite color! He's such a great guy, and I have no idea how I snatched him before someone else did.

Anyways, back to weight loss. After seeing that I DO need something keeping me accountable, that just wanting to loose weight doesn't magically make you loose that weight. With that said, I'm back to tracking. It was nice to not have to track for a few weeks. I didn't do terrible, I have my normal foods, I still got recipes off of WW and ate my veggies and such, but as I mentioned before, my downfall was peanut butter and trail mix.

After weighing myself this morning, I was determined to plan out everything, and I mean everything, that I'm going to put in my mouth in the next week. Okay, not everything, I'm still having trouble with weekends. This weekend I'll be at my cousin's house in PA, and we have a wedding to go to tomorrow, but I'm going to try to make healthy choices, really, I am. So I planned out what I'm going to eat for Tues - Fri of next week. I'm hoping that I can see the scale go down a few pounds, but we'll see.

Once I was done for next week, I decided that I was having fun, and that I really wanted to use a couple good recipes that I found, so I planned out the following week, too (not including weekends). Next weekend we're home, and I usually do really good at home. I have a lot of reading to do, and homework, so hopefully that will keep me on track. We might go out shopping on Saturday, so I'll have to watch myself if we go out to eat. I'm so sick of being stuck only having lost 10 lbs. since MAY! I should be down 20 lbs. I know it's my own fault, I'm just not staying on track. As others have said, "if you kind of do WW, it only kind of works".

Especially with me not working out as much as I would have liked, and I don't have the time to now, so I need to make sure I stick to my points and the weight will come off.

Another thing I did: I deleted all my previous history on the WI tracker on e-tools. Now when I had the idea, I thought it was going to be like starting fresh, like restarting WW on September 1. Nope, not so, it still has where I was when I started LAST YEAR! So now I just have a straight line for 15 months saying that I was stuck at 169.6 for those 15 months. Oh well, I'm just glad I can kind of start with a clean slate. All my food is planned out, and I CAN do this! I WILL do this!

"I can do all things through Him, who gives me strength."
- Phil. 4:13

i missed the hogwarts express again!

It's September first, and that means I've missed the Hogwarts Express again (yes, I know that Hogwarts is NOT real, but a girl can still dream, right?), and I'm stuck in reality, but it's a new month, with new possibilities, a fresh new start.

Another good thing about September is that I can start playing Christmas music. I know that it's only September, but for a girl who had a Christmas themed wedding, I'll play Christmas music as early as I would like, thank you very much! :)

I'm still on my "test" of succeeding at losing weight without WW, and I'm not doing very well. I think it's because I'm eating nuts and PB just about every day, and I know that I'm not eating lower points things to make up for that. I'm pretty sure I'll be facing a gain this week, which is proof that I NEED to count points. I was hoping that I could quit WW and not have to pay, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

Balancing school, WW, working and being a wife is hard work. I just can't find that perfect balance that I need in order to succeed this semester. I think I got spoiled because I was only working for the first 8 months of our marriage and I could come home and cuddle with the hubby and watch tv for 4 hours if I wanted. Now, I don't have time to do that, I have reading to do. Chuck knows that, and he's trying to help, but he doesn't understand the amount that I have to read every night to stay on top of things. I have really easy classes, I know I do, and I love that, but I still have to read just about every night.

I think I'll really plan out my meals for next week, including points values, that will be homework in and of itself. I need to lose this weight, my average weekly loss is 0.3 - 0.3! That's terrible! I can plan everything now, and I need to. I'm still doing C25K, generally, every morning, so I know that weight loss will slow down because I'm not exercising as much as I've been since May. So I need to be super consious about my food intake so that I can still lose weight.

Now to go over my goals from August and judge myself on them.

• Harder work ethic - I did okay. I'm not saying I did as well as I would have liked, but I think I'm working more than I was. Granted, some of that could be a result of only working 3x/week and I have to work during those three days to stay on top, but still.
• Better Christian - I like to think that I am, but I'm not. I'm not praying and turning to God as much as I should be. I'm not reading my Bible every day, only when it's convenient.
• More responsible with money - Honestly, I think I succeeded with this. I didn't buy anything for myself unless I needed it. I've kept food shopping as cheap as possible.
• Stick to a budget - Continuing with the last goal, I've done better, but not as good as I should be, I'll continue working on this, especially because we have less money to work with now that I'm in school.
• Continue C25K - Finally, an actual success. I have continued C25K, although I think I'm going to change it up to jogging for a certain length of time, straight up, then walking. I get so tired if I alternate walking and jogging, I'd rather just jog.
• Track weekends - Fail. Seeing as I haven't tracked anything since the beginning of August, this is a MAJOR fail.
• Meet GHGs - Another success. I've been very conscious about what I'm putting in my mouth, and I think this month I'm going to work on eating "cleanly"
• Workout 10x week - Nope, didn't meet this one either. I have made an effort to workout though, and that's more than I could say I did 6 months ago.

All in all, it was a pretty bad month. I started the month at 170.6 and ended it at 169 ish. That's terrible. I don't feel better than I did, and yes, the life changing is very much so sinking in, but I need to show it on the scale, stop eating everything all weekend and indulging in what I want to eat.

Now for September's goals

Non weight loss goals:

• Don't get behind on schoolwork
• Read my Bible and pray daily
• Keep on a food budget
• Be more outgoing, and don't be afraid to talk to people
• Be kinder to my husband, he's doing a lot for me, and sometimes I just take all my stress out on him

WW goals:

• Continue jogging - either C25K or just jogging
• Start weight lifting
• Track, track, track
• Eat cleaner foods. Stick to real food, not food products, even if it means sacrificing points to do so.
• Do pushups daily

still testing...

At my WI yesterday I was 168.6 lbs. Honestly, I think that's good. I lost 1 lb. from last week, and I wasn't totally back on track. I didn't track, but kept with eating my WW recipes, fruits/vegs, meeting my GHGs and being smart about what I ate. On the flip side though, I had a hot dog and ice cream at my picnic on Monday, had a Chipotle burrito on Thursday and ate the WHOLE thing! I think I might be able to cancel my WW subscription. That'll help because Hubby only got a $1 raise. I know every little bit helps, but we were hoping for more than $1.

With that said, I'm planning on being a lot smarter with my food and how much we buy. With all my smoothies and regular foods, I just need to be really cautious about my dinners. Slowly I'll learn how to be really good about how to make foods go longer. I buy meat on sale and stick it in the freezer, but I feel like we need to be creative with our typical chicken, so I need to learn how to do that.

Anyways, school is going well. I might drop one of my classes, it's about the Old Testament, but I think it's going to take the turn to where we're criticizing the Old Testament, which I'm not a fan of. I'll stick with it for now, but we'll see if it takes a nasty turn, I'm out of there.

Time to enjoy the weekend! Hope everyone enjoys theirs, too!

back to school

It's that time again, the time when parents rejoice and kids hate it. I may be in college, but I still don't look forward to going to school. No, scratch that. I do like going to school, I just don't like working AND going to school. I'm in my last year, I just had my last first day of school, and the real world is chasing me around, taunting me and laughing at me because the real world is going to eat me alive come May.

My classes should be easy, except for one. Six out of my seven classes I voluntarily (mostly) took, and at least five of the seven are intro. classes, which I know I shouldn't take, but I didn't have a choice considering that I HAVE to work. I hate it. I wish I didn't have to work. I know it's going to look awesome on my resume, but I would love, for just one semester take classes based on what the material is, and be able to schedule work AROUND those classes. But ever since my freshman year, I've had to work the most hours I could, and then see which classes fit into that schedule. It sucks, flat out sucks.

Last week's test was kind of a flop, but I didn't gain anywhere near the amount of weight I thought I would. So this week, I'm doing another test; not couting points, just eating healthy. I'm still trying to find out the balance with school, since I think I only drank about 36 ounces of water yesterday, and I need to keep drinking about 100 ounces, I think. I can eat well while I'm at school, but I need to come up with more snacks for in between classes, things that don't need to be in the fridge. That's what I'm struggling with now.

I'll keep you posted on how school and my WW test are doing when I WI on Friday...

it's starting to sink in

This is starting to be a lifestyle change. Honestly, it really is, and I'm super proud of myself. Comparing myself to last summer, I can see the difference. Last summer I lost 25 lbs, but I ate garbage. I mean I kind of watched what I ate, but I worked in a sweat box factory, no kidding I lost 25 lbs. in 3 months. I gained it all back, of course, but it was nice while it lasted. This summer, I'm seeing the life change. I've been kind of off WW all week. I had good intentions, but I'm preparing myself to see that scale go up on Friday. I didn't work out like I wanted to, I didn't eat good foods at all, but I can't wait to get back on the bandwagon.

I've taken a step back this week and I think I've figured some things out. I made a list of snack foods that I "approve" of for once school starts. I've also figured out what "real food" is, as compared to processed foods. I'm really going to try to eat food, not food products. I'll sacrifice some points for things like almonds, greek yogurt, bananas, things that are a little higher in points, but keep you fuller longer and are healthy for you. It's definitely sinking in that I need to eat healthy food and exercise to get healthy, lose weight and keep this weight off.

Even though I've been "off WW" this week, I'm totally not enjoying it. Eating pizza 3x in a week, eating no fruits/vegs and barely drinking any water just isn't appealing to me anymore. I'll have my moments when I'll fall off the wagon, I'm sure, and I know that my journey is FAR from over, but it's all sinking in.

That's all. I'll be heading home tomorrow, and I'm going to try to eat healthier, but I'll be eating airport food all day, so we'll see how that goes. I'm preparing myself for the scale, and I'm not going to let it bring me down.

I'm seriously in the middle of nowhere, and I haven't used my phone all week (no service) and there is a layer of dust on my phone. It's beautiful out here though, I could live out here.

update number 2

This week of testing myself is butchered. Honestly, I blame the lack of a fridge, which I know is just an excuse. Well not completely. I don't know what to eat for dinner if not bad food. I have tuna and brown rice, but who wants tuna and brown rice for dinner 7 days in a row? Not me, that's for sure. So while I'm on travel, I need WW to keep me accountable, but seeing as I won't be traveling for a long, long time, I need to get back on track.

I can't wait to get back on track because I feel like garbage. I'm not drinking anywhere near my normal amount of water, I'm eating barely 2-3 servings of fruits/vegs, I'm eating probaly 5x the amount of sodium I should be consuming. I have a pretty good breakfast, toast with pb, hard boiled egg and cereal. A big breakfast, but it keeps me full. Not that it matters, I eat an early lunch, and crap for dinner.

I just planned my food for next week. School starts next week, which I'm super nervous about btw, and I need to be very, very good at planning in order to stay on WW while I'm at school.

Here's the plan:
Mon/Wed/Fri: run in the morning, follow by a green monster and PB toast for breakfast. I'll do my normal sandwich, leftovers, whatever lunch, and normal dinner that I plan out, just like I've been doing all summer. The problem is going to be Tues/Thurs while I'm at school and am tempted by my friends to just spend the money and eat in the dining hall.

I'm planning on making myself eggs for breakfast on Tues/Thurs right after working out, probably doing my Shred or a 2 mile walk away the pounds. For lunch I'll take something light, a sandwich or salad probably. Tuesdays are going to be my crock pot days. I got a HUGE list of WW crockpot meals, hopefully without high sodium canned soups, and I'll try these guys out on Tuesdays since I won't be home until about 7pm. Thursdays my hubby is going to have to grab something himself. I'm going to be taking myself some leftovers. I'm planning on eating with my friends for lunch and dinner, hopefully, and I'm trusting that I can resist eating garbage food in the dining hall since I need to save the money, and I know they'll be watching me like a hawk since I won't have paid to eat dining hall food.

My biggest problem is going to be coming up with some low point lunches that I can take with me to school. If anyone has any ideas for quick lunches, please let me know. I'm really going to try to keep planning this as well as I can. I HAVE to keep planning so that I can keep losing weight. I'm uncomfortable with my body, I want to look good next summer and I want to wear a bikini. I want this to be my lifestyle, not just a temporary diet. I can feel it kicking in, but I need to keep going for it to turn into a lifestyle.

So I'm working on it, and I'm nowhere near giving up. I'm going to try to stay strong for the rest of my trip, and I'll definitely be staying on the bandwagon!