Holy cow, where did September go? It's halfway through the month already! I figured I would look back on my September goals and see where I am. I have a HUGE feeling that I'm failing pretty drastically. I've been feeling down this week, my weight loss has come to a stop, and I know that it's my own fault because I eat whatever every weekend.
I hate school, okay, I don't hate it, but I really don't like it. I've become a stronger Christian since I've been married and going to a very liberal school full time again just annoys me, no one has any values or morals. I'm trying to help my brother find a school and while I'm doing that, I find a school that I *should have* listened to my mom 4 years ago because she told me to go visit it. I *should have* gone there because it would have been awesome, they have a degree in peace and conflict studies! Seriously?! Why, oh why, didn't I listen to my mom. Now don't get me wrong, I've found my three best friends at my current school and wouldn't give them up for the world, but I would have loved to have gone to a Christian school.
Along with baby fever, I don't like going to school with women who think that I'm nuts for wanting to have kids at age 21 and not go back to work ever. I want some Christian friends that understand why I feel that way. On that note, one of my best friends just came back from Germany for a year, and she was opinionated before but now she's ever more opinionated. She really thinks I'm nuts for wanting to have kids, period. I feel like she never takes anyone else's opinion into consideration.
I feel like I need a change. I really wish I could go back in time and go to a Christian college. Then I'm trying to help my brother who wants to go to community college for two years because it's cheap, which is true, but I'm so against staying and home and going to school. I feel like you need to move away and be on your own, become independent and free from your parents. Make mistakes, learn from them. Eat chocolate for dinner every night without your mom telling you to eat your veggies. Student loans are NOT that bad. Yes, it sucks, but if you're smart with how much you take out, and get a work study job, you can do it. I'm trying to see if it really is a good idea for my brother to go to a community college, then I think that I'm trying to live through him to go to the Christian school that I would have loved to go to.
Pity party over, I hope. I need to get out of this funk, take every day at a time and make life a masterpiece.
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