Pediatrician.

I probably should have started thinking about a pediatrician a while ago. I've gone to the same group of doctors my entire life, and considering that they recently added a pediatrician to their group, I just assumed that I would take my baby there. I never met the doctor before, but figured that she's a pediatrician - what's not to like?

I don't have any one thing that I need a doctor to be on board with me on. Sure, it'd be great if they supported breastfeeding, and some of the other things I'm on board with, but I'm not one of those parents who isn't going to vaccinate their children at all. If I was, then I would have to search for a doctor with those views. 

*Side note: there's nothing wrong with choosing not to vaccinate. In my opinion, I'd like my child's shots to be spread out, but I'm totally not judging whether your child gets 8 shots at one time, or never gets a shot in their life.*

With my midwife appointment last week I decided to meet the pediatrician who was in the same building. The one that I'd been assuming I would take my child to.

I didn't love her. 

I didn't hate her either.

I don't know the kind of relationship I need/should/want to have with my pediatrician. We didn't totally disagree on any topic, although I will say the moment I mentioned the word vaccine she was very adamant about giving the shots on time with no changes in the schedule. The only other thing was that she didn't understand the concept of baby-led weaning, but seemed adamant about giving rice cereal as a first food, which I'm not sure I'm on board with. She also has a strong accent, which can be hard to understand at times. I hope that doesn't make me sound racist, I'm totally interested in other cultures, but it can be hard to understand people with strong accents, especially when you need to understand what they're saying. She doesn't have any children, but says she has a bunch of nieces and nephews which aren't the same as your own children in my book. Granted, she might not be able to have children, but she loves them and that's why she's a pediatrician, and that's totally understandable.

So once I got home, I figured that I would still use her as our pediatrician and if things didn't work out, I could always switch, right? But then I thought about another pediatrician a friend recommended. She didn't want her son to get any shots, so I thought maybe this pediatrician was more open to other ways of things, specifically with baby-led solids/weaning, so yesterday I called and made an appointment to meet with her. Luckily, Mr. Skinny was headed home early due to a rain day, and that meant he could come with us!

We didn't love her either.

I was kind of expecting a more "hippy-like" doctor, who pushed breastfeeding and natural childbirth. Wrong. She said she should have had 3 c-sections with her 3 9+ lb. babies and if I'm "lucky" enough to have a c-section, I should "praise the Lord." So not what I was expecting. I will say that I liked her more than the first pediatrician, mostly because she seems to give her medical opinion, but then not judge you if you decide to do something different. I mentioned co-sleeping, just to get her opinion and she said something along the lines of "if you want to be a California-sleeping-in-one-bed-family" then good for you, but I couldn't do it. She did mentions that breastfeeding past 9 months was silly, and people who have home births are doing it for attention. So while I don't agree with all that, I think she's more open to other people's opinions than the first pediatrician. She also gives out her cell phone and will take phone calls at any time, which is something the other pediatrician didn't even mention.

Mr. Skinny and I talked about it. Well it was more of a once sided conversation which was along the lines of "what do you think we should do?" "I don't know, whatever you want" But, I think we'll go with the second pediatrician. She's been a pediatrician for 36 years, and raised 3 children. She's gotten multiple awards for being the best pediatrician in our area, and comes with wonderful recommendations. If we don't like her, we could go back to the first pediatrician.

Man, parenting decisions are hard!

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How did you pick your pediatrician? 

Jumping on the Bandwagon.

I have never been a leader. You know, the one whose opinion differs from everyone else around them, they find out what they like and they stick to their guns. Do research on different things and find out what's best for them. Nope, I jump on the bandwagon. I hate confrontation and controversy. I'll stay quiet unless someone asks my opinion and then I'll give it as peacefully and quietly as possible. Last Memorial Day, when Mr. Skinny's family got into a heated political debate, I took a convenient trip to the bathroom.

This jumping on the bandwagon stuff goes just about into every part of my life. Right now, it's seeping into how I feel about certain things once my little girl is born, and how I'm envisioning labor and delivery for myself.

I've always been fascinated by being a mom, the whole process. I used to watch "A Baby Story" on TLC all the time. Any kind of show I could find about labor and delivery, I watched. I'm not sure when I started reading up on natural birth, but when I did, it all made sense. Women's bodies were made to deliver babies. Pain is just how your mind perceives it. If you're scared, your body will make it seem more painful. Sure, I've never gone through labor pains before, but I know my body can do it. God created women to do this.

Anyways, natural birth goes back to jumping on the bandwagon. Reading up on it made it seem "better" than medicated birth, so naturally, I jumped on. Well, before getting pregnant, I would jump on the bandwagon in regards to healthy eating. Chia seeds seem to be good for you, let's get some. Greek yogurt, same thing. High fructose corn syrup seems bad for you, so let's avoid that. Organic is the way to go, let's spend more money on that. Same thing in regards to what I put on my registry. From the crib mattress - which is organic - to swaddles and bathing products, I jumped on the bandwagon. I read one negative thing about something and I jump on the bandwagon. Sometimes it's not a bad thing, i.e. organic produce. But some things I'll push for just because I read one article, which may or may not have been a credible source.

My next thing - cloth diapers. I can't even truthfully tell you why I'd like to try them other than possibly saving money. It just seems like the benefits outweigh the negatives. Luckily for me, Mr. Skinny is really easy going and laid back about things. He usually jumps on board with me because he trusts me to make educated decisions about the things that I'm passionate about.

I'm starting to be a little more opinionated about certain things, although I will only argue with certain people about them, but I'm a little worried that it's going to bite me in the butt. Mr. Skinny and I are on the same page with a natural birth, so I'm worried that I'm going to be in labor for like 4 days, and want some kind of pain medication, and he's going to talk me out of it. Which might not be a bad thing, but he's not the one going through the pain. I'm worried I'll spend all this money on cloth diapers and then something goes wrong, just so someone can tell me "I told you so." I want to breastfeed so badly, I'm worried it won't work out for me.

I'm sure this feeling isn't going to go away. Being a parent means making the best decision you can for your family, and people might not like it. My aunt might think I'm crazy to feed my baby on demand rather than on a schedule. Sometime might criticize me if I pick my baby up every time she cries for a long time. Co-sleeping. baby wearing, crying it out. Baby food vs. baby led solids. There's no right answer, and I'm worried that I won't be able to figure out what I want for my baby and stick to my guns.

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How do you handle criticism?
Do you tend to jump on the bandwagon, or march to your own drummer?