I have never been a leader. You know, the one whose opinion differs from everyone else around them, they find out what they like and they stick to their guns. Do research on different things and find out what's best for them. Nope, I jump on the bandwagon. I hate confrontation and controversy. I'll stay quiet unless someone asks my opinion and then I'll give it as peacefully and quietly as possible. Last Memorial Day, when Mr. Skinny's family got into a heated political debate, I took a convenient trip to the bathroom.
This jumping on the bandwagon stuff goes just about into every part of my life. Right now, it's seeping into how I feel about certain things once my little girl is born, and how I'm envisioning labor and delivery for myself.
I've always been fascinated by being a mom, the whole process. I used to watch "A Baby Story" on TLC all the time. Any kind of show I could find about labor and delivery, I watched. I'm not sure when I started reading up on natural birth, but when I did, it all made sense. Women's bodies were made to deliver babies. Pain is just how your mind perceives it. If you're scared, your body will make it seem more painful. Sure, I've never gone through labor pains before, but I know my body can do it. God created women to do this.
Anyways, natural birth goes back to jumping on the bandwagon. Reading up on it made it seem "better" than medicated birth, so naturally, I jumped on. Well, before getting pregnant, I would jump on the bandwagon in regards to healthy eating. Chia seeds seem to be good for you, let's get some. Greek yogurt, same thing. High fructose corn syrup seems bad for you, so let's avoid that. Organic is the way to go, let's spend more money on that. Same thing in regards to what I put on my registry. From the crib mattress - which is organic - to swaddles and bathing products, I jumped on the bandwagon. I read one negative thing about something and I jump on the bandwagon. Sometimes it's not a bad thing, i.e. organic produce. But some things I'll push for just because I read one article, which may or may not have been a credible source.
My next thing - cloth diapers. I can't even truthfully tell you why I'd like to try them other than possibly saving money. It just seems like the benefits outweigh the negatives. Luckily for me, Mr. Skinny is really easy going and laid back about things. He usually jumps on board with me because he trusts me to make educated decisions about the things that I'm passionate about.
I'm starting to be a little more opinionated about certain things, although I will only argue with certain people about them, but I'm a little worried that it's going to bite me in the butt. Mr. Skinny and I are on the same page with a natural birth, so I'm worried that I'm going to be in labor for like 4 days, and want some kind of pain medication, and he's going to talk me out of it. Which might not be a bad thing, but he's not the one going through the pain. I'm worried I'll spend all this money on cloth diapers and then something goes wrong, just so someone can tell me "I told you so." I want to breastfeed so badly, I'm worried it won't work out for me.
I'm sure this feeling isn't going to go away. Being a parent means making the best decision you can for your family, and people might not like it. My aunt might think I'm crazy to feed my baby on demand rather than on a schedule. Sometime might criticize me if I pick my baby up every time she cries for a long time. Co-sleeping. baby wearing, crying it out. Baby food vs. baby led solids. There's no right answer, and I'm worried that I won't be able to figure out what I want for my baby and stick to my guns.
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How do you handle criticism?
Do you tend to jump on the bandwagon, or march to your own drummer?
Megan, every parent is different. And more importantly, every baby is different. I PROMISE you, with the love you have for your little one already, your instincts will lead you to do the right thing. Don't stress about that stuff. I scoffed at a friend who quit breastfeeding at 6 weeks, thinking why would she do that? It's so much more cost effective to do it as long as possible. I quit breast feeding at a month. There was a lot more to it than I realized. What I'm saying is, sure, read up and do your research, but more importantly, do what is right for you as you go along. As long as you are loving your baby and keeping her healthy, there is no one right answer.
ReplyDeleteI think the thing to remember is there ISN'T always a right answer. Typically, the people who take a strong stance on how they are going to raise their baby, do it in a "This is the only right way" viewpoint, and that is utterly annoying.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with having an opinion on what you want to try, the important thing is knowing when to consider it a success or failure and when to reassess.