Stretch Marks.

One morning last week, I was looking at my belly, which I absolutely adore, and noticed these pink lines.

"Crap. Those are stetch marks."

This is not my first encounter with them though, when I was in high school, Mr. Skinny, who was my boyfriend at the time, got me a job at McDonalds. At first, it was fine, I was still cheering and kept my weight the same (I think). But then I decided my senior year that I didn't want to cheer anymore due to coaching changes, I gained weight once McDonalds food was my meals for probably 5 meals out of the week or so. I'm not sure how much I gained, but I know I gained a good amount, and fast, which resulted in stretch marks on my sides.

I've gotten used to them now, they've never really bothered me, but I've never been that comfortable in my body that I've worn any clothing were they show. My inner thighs have some, too, but who can ever see them? When I was on WW and loosing weight, I did get a little concerned about them, only because I really wanted to wear a bikini at some point and I knew people would see them. I asked other's opinions on the 20's board, but most just said that they didn't let them bother them, and that's the attitude I tried to adopt.

Once I got pregnant, I saw all the worry about stretch marks, but didn't think I would get them because I've gained weight before, and no one in my family got them, and they say that stretch marks are genetic. During winter, I normally put lotion on, but I never really paid much attention to making sure I put enough on my belly every day. It was the last thing on my mind. Well, then I woke up with them. I really think they appeared overnight.

At first, I was really disappointed that I had them. I know what they'll look like in 5+ years since I had them from McDonalds. With our maternity pictures hopefully happening next weekend, I was envisioning this perfect smooth belly for them. I was complaining to my mom, complaining to Mr. Skinny. I even showed them to my brother, who promptly said, "I can't see anything." He's gonna make a good husband someday!

Then I thought about it. Why be disappointed? I'm going to have a daughter, and what would I say to her if she started complaining to me about stretch marks when she's pregnant? Sure I'll sympathize, knowing they won't go away, but I'd tell her to wear them proudly. They're battle scars, a badge of honor to wear and show the world that you grew a human inside of you!

If I ever get to the point where I'm comfortable to wear a bikini, which is a whole other topic in and of itself - should moms wear bikinis - I'll wear my stretch marks with confidence, knowing they they are there for a reason, and show the world that my body can do something incredible.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Do you have stretch marks?
How do you feel about them?

Changes.

First things first, I added my 31 week pictures to this week's post.

I need some advice. Specifically hair advice. My whole life I've spent growing my hair out and getting it cut. I didn't shy away from anything really, although I've never professionally dyed my hair - there was that one time in college, and don't want to start now, I'm getting to the point now where I need to do something about it. It's long, and finally, for the first time in my life, it's long enough to donate it to locks of love. That was my goal when I set out in September of 2010 - to grow it long enough to donate. Now that that time is here, I'm getting ready to cut it, but there are some questions rolling around in my mind. 

First, let's go through my most dramatic hair cut. From this:

July 2008

To this:

August 2008

I actually loved this hair cut, it was super duper easy to take care of, and I don't think it looked bad. Unfortunately, I was about the only one who liked it. Mr. Skinny hated it, although most of the time I didn't care, it's my hair. But what girl wants her (at the time) fiancé to not like her hair? So I let it grow back, which wasn't a problem, mostly because I only cut my hair once or maybe twice a year. It was nice to see my hair grow back in all the different stages though, I saw what it looked like and could see which length was my favorite.

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

April 2009

At the point, we decided to change our wedding date from May 2010 to December 2009, and what girl doesn't want long hair for her wedding? So I decided to grow it out again. 

July 2009

 But that "growing it out" was pretty short lived. My cousin convinced me to cut it again, and I willingly agreed. I never was that girl in HS who just had to grow her hair out for prom or anything. Actually, I remember one of my "friends" telling me that I was stupid because I went for a hair cut a few weeks before prom and was planning on cutting my hair short. Short hair is easier to take care of, and I like my hair like that. So anyways, in August 2009, I cut my hair.

August 2009

September 2009

Once I got that hair cut though, I knew I wouldn't cut it before our wedding, and I didn't.

November 2009

December 2009

But on our honeymoon I paid mega bucks to get my hair cut in Disney World at the Grand Floridian. I didn't hate it, but I wouldn't pay that kind of money again for a hair cut.

January 2010

After that we didn't have money to get hair cuts, so it wasn't a problem to just let it go and let it grow.

June 2010

July 2010

And surprise, surprise, I got it cut in September again.

September 2010

After that hair cut, I knew I was going to let it grow to donate it, and I've stuck to that. I got it trimmed once in the past 18 months, and that was a special deva curl cut which was mucho bucks again, and didn't look that much different than going to a regular salon. Unless I go to NYC or a big city where I know they'll do a good job, I'll be sticking to regular salons from here on out. So here we are now, big belly and long, curly hair.

February 2012

Would it be smarter for me to wait until after the baby is born to cut my hair, or should I chop it off now and get used to it before baby? I'm sure I won't have much time to get it cut after she's here and taking all my time, but will I regret it? How short should I get it cut? I'm wavering between the September 2009, or the January 2009. The shorter one would be harder to "hide" if I'm having a bad hair day, and with a baby, I'm sure that can happen rather frequently. That's the other thing I'm worried about cutting my hair at all. I don't want to regret it and know I can't just throw it up in a messy bun for the day if I haven't showered in a few days and have spit up all over me.

I also have maternity pictures scheduled in late April, early May, and don't know if I want to cut it before that or not. I think my face looks more round when my hair is short, and if it swells before pictures, I'm just in trouble all around.

What are your thoughts? I'll take all the advice that I can get. This is the first time in my life I'm actually nervous about getting my hair cut. I've never been nervous about it before. It was always hair will grow back, so do whatever. That was my motto.

Thanks in advance for the suggestions and advice!

My WW-iversary.

I feel like I've seen a lot of anniversary's lately, and I have one myself! Yesterday, May 17, was one year since I joined WW for the 3rd time. I'm not going to explain the previous two times, you can go to "My Weight Loss Journey" page if you want to read all that.

I will, however, explain my reasons for joining that third and hopefully final time. After just coming back from a business trip to Atlanta, GA, I knew that I wanted to join again. I was unhappy, I wanted to exercise, I wanted to be healthy. I weighed in at a whopping 180lbs. I didn't exercise. I had 1-2 servings of fruit/veg each day, max. My lunches consisted of rice, soup, frozen meals, whatever. Dinners had to be cheap, like pasta w/ cheese cheap. I had seconds, thirds every night. No big deal, right? I had put on 10 pounds since our wedding in December, which was after I put on the 20 pounds I lost the summer before I got married.

The day I signed up for WW, I was SO excited, I discovered the message boards, and found one that I fit in - the 20s board. Even though I'm mostly absent on the boards today, they were my inspiration when I needed it. If I had a question about something, they were there. That day, Mr. Skinny went grocery shopping for whatever reason. He got me super lean beef, and WW snacks, that's all he knew I'd eat.

Now, one year and just about 25 pounds lighter, I'm a whole different person. I might slip back into that Megan, but I'm definitely changed. I can't eat the same amount of food now. A meal isn't balanced without fruits or veggies, seconds are a rare occurrence and thirds are unheard of. I completed a 5K in December, but slacked on my running. I'm picking up running again, slowly but surly. It's a slow, uphill battle, but I'm over halfway there!

I may not be tracking on WW right now, but I am SO thankful that I joined again. I don't even want to know where I would be without WW teaching me everything I know.

Here are some comparison pictures since I don't have any progress pictures. I know, I know, I should have, but I didn't.

May 2010, in Atlanta.

I really never knew my face was that chubby!

March 2011.

The best full body shot I have, May 2010.

That's Martin Luther King's tomb - it was an awesome trip!

Christmas Eve 2009 - how did I go out looking like this?!

This past weekend in OCMD.

Since it's such a slow process (for me), sometimes I don't see the changes like I should, and I don't appreciate them. After looking at these pictures though, I realize that I really do look different, and my body is different. I'm a changed person and I'm never going back!

---------------------

How did your weight loss journey start? Have you ever had an issue with weight?

rewarding yourself and goal weight

I go back and forth on this topic. Mr. Skinny and I don't have a lot of money; we're in debt up to our eyeballs and it's really hard for me to justify spending money on something that I don't always need.

Secondly, rewards don't really motivate me. I usually just end up buying whatever it was that I'm supposed to wait for anyways, even when I don't make that goal. I'm thinking about trying punishments. That looks so strange to type. I don't like putting it that way. Umm.. what about taking something away from myself..? Is that any better?

Anyways, I'm not talking about burning my savings account if I don't lose 30 lbs. by March, I'm talking more, not letting myself watch TV if I don't track, or something like that. Tracking is the key to WW, obviously. In order to lose the rest of my weight, I need to track. I need to track every day; every bite, taste, or lick that goes into my mouth needs to be accounted for. If I do that, I don't go into the red majorly every week, the rest of my weight should come off.

Back to rewards. I know what I want when I get to goal. I'm still not sure what my goal is going to be, but I know what I want once I get to goal. I don't know how much it's going to cost, but I want 3 pairs of jeans that fit. When I say fit I mean that I am a pear-shaped woman. I've got womanly hips and thigh, but a smaller waist. No matter how heavy I get, I will always have a smaller waist. I want to search, no matter how long it takes me and find a jean that fits. I am willing to pay a good chunk of change for these jeans, and am even willing to get them taylored once I purchase them to make sure they fit.

Hopefully getting 3 or so pairs of jeans that I feel fantastic in and look great on me will help me to stay at my goal. Now I'm still not sure what my goal weight is - another post on that later, and another post later on what to do when I get to goal. Anyways, I'm going to get rid (I think) of all my clothes that are too big. It's hard because I know that *if* I gain the weight back I need clothes that fit, but I shouldn't gain the weight back. This is a lifestyle change and I don't think I could go back to what I was eating before. I'm praying that a good pair of jeans, expensive, perfect fitting jeans will help me maintain successfully.

As for short term goals before I get to my goal weight, I have no idea.

----------------------------------

What are your goals? Do you use short or long term goals?

falling off the wagon?

It's been a while since I blogged, so this post is a little all over the place. I apologize in advance.

I know I'm falling off the wagon, and I'm okay with it. I weighed myself on Monday morning - just to see where I was after my long, food filled weekend, and I was up at 161.4 - my last WI was 160.8, not too shabby! I knew that some of that wasn't a true gain, with sodium and not drinking water, I figured I haven't really gained anything. I was off work on Monday, and when I'm home, I don't really eat, so I didn't track. Yesterday, we went out to eat with a co-worker who is retiring and I ate wayyy too much fried food. So much fried food that I'm still feeling it - food hangovers suck. With all the fried food, I just didn't track. Today I could track, but what's one day of tracking worth? Forget it, not worth it, since I'll just be off again tomorrow.

I will be weighing myself tomorrow to see the damage from all that gross fried food. Why does fried food have to be SO delicious? Anyways, enough about the fried food. I *will* be back on track come January 3rd. I *will* start working out again regularly. And I *will* start loosing weight again.

I did go to the gym yesterday - I wasn't sleeping well anymore. Oh man, I slept like a rock last night. It felt so good. I'm going to be going back to the gym today and hopefully sleep like a rock again tonight and sleep in late tomorrow because I took the day off! It's amazing how exercise really changes your life. I'm slowly getting used to eating healthy and working out. I can tell how different my body feels and when I slip into old habits, how terrible my body feels. Hopefully this is a change for the good. I have high hopes for 2011.

Oh, by the way, Christmas was good. I got a nook, which was awesome. I ate a lot of good food, not so healthy, but good food. There was a little snow involved on the ride to take my sister-in-law home, but we got out of that. Another awesome present I got? My brand new MACBOOK! I've wanted one of these babies for so long! We got a Best Buy credit card and got it interest free for 24 months - I can't say no to that. So I crossed that off my 101 in 1,001 list! :) After January 1st though, we're done spending money! We have to come up with a strict budget and save money if we ever want to have kids or buy a house.

------------------

How was your holidays?