Taking A Break.

Sorry about the lack of posts! We haven't really gotten into a schedule yet, and so I haven't had time to blog. I've been thinking about it and I'm really trying to figure out why I'm blogging. I love to read blogs, don't get me wrong, but I think I need to figure out why I started in the first place, and if I want to continue doing it.

Until I figure things out, I want to just enjoy my life as a stay-at-home mom right now, and enjoy my little girl as she's growing up so fast!

Why do you blog? What keeps you going?

Five Weeks Old.

Miss Molly,

Well, five weeks ago right now I was getting a shower and breathing through contractions, wondering when you'd be making your arrival. Who would you look like? What color hair would you have? How exactly would your birth story play out? Now we know all those answers! One on side it feels like you were always a part of us, Daddy agrees. I know it sounds corny, but we were destined to be your parents. I already can't remember what life was like without you. But, on the other hand time has absolutely flown by. I was looking at newborn pictures this week while you were napping in my arms and I was tearing up looking at how small you were and just how big you are now! You've passed your one month mark, although I'm not sure when since you were born on the 31st and June didn't have a 31st day, so I guess that pushed it to July 1, but then will you turn 1 month and 2 months in the same month? That's confusing...

You're getting more fun now, and more awake during the day. You're a cat napper - if we're out, you usually only sleep for 20 minutes or so and then you're up. You must be a little busy body and nosy! If we're home though, there's days where I feel like you're sleeping all day long! We haven't figured out a schedule quite yet, but sleeping at night is going fabulously! Last night you actually slept from 10:30 until 4:45! I couldn't believe it! I'm going to ask the pediatrician at our appointment on Monday if that's okay for you to go that long without eating, but my instincts are telling me its alright. Usually you're in bed by 10 or so after a few feedings, and sleep until around 2:30 or 3, eat and back to bed until 5 or so, eat again and I bring you in bed with me after Daddy leaves and we sleep until at least 8, sometimes 9 or 10! Monday and Tuesday nights, after your 3am feeding, I put you in the crib before you totally fell asleep and you put yourself to sleep! Granted, it took about 20 minutes, but I never had to pick you up! You didn't cry at all, just moved around a little bit and eventually fell asleep! I was so proud!

I love when you're awake and alert during the day! I know you can hear us, and you usually can follow us with your eyes, too. You're kind of starting to smile and laugh, but I don't know if they're real smiles yet. I think so because before you'd smile when you were sleeping or in the process of falling asleep/waking up, but now it's more when you're awake. You're so happy in the morning, I love just cuddling with you and watching you move around and take in your surroundings. For the most part, you are a happy baby, only really crying when you're hungry and I don't feed you right away.

We had your first holiday yesterday - the 4th of July! It was pretty low key, we were over Grandma and Poppa's house all day long, after breakfast with Grammy and Pappy. You were pretty good for breakfast, that's the second time you went out to eat with us this week - the first was on Sunday with Uncle Billy. You were hungry both times, and from now on I'll remember to pump a bottle before we go so that we have it on hand for you to eat while we're waiting for our food. I gave you two bottles yesterday! With so many people at Grandma and Poppa's house and no chair in the corner to feed you, it was easier to just pump and give you a bottle, so that's what we did. I want to give you a few bottles a week anyways so that you can switch easily between bottles and nursing.

You and I took our first grocery shopping trip out alone! We ventured to Wegmans and Babies R Us. I took the Ergo and wore you at both stores and you were good! About halfway through Wegmans you started to get fussy and so I hurried up because I didn't know if you were going to cry, but once I gave you your pacifier, you were out and I poked around a little more. Between the Moby wrap and the Ergo carrier, I'm all set with baby wearing. I absolutely love being able to have you close to me and have my hands free. It's so handy! I think you like it, too, although I think you'd prefer to look around. I even get Daddy to wear you when we're out!

We've stopped block feeding, and your poops are normal again, so we're back on the normal eating on one side until it's empty, offering the other side, and switching sides for the next feeding business again. With some pumping/giving bottles thrown in there. I'm still pumping at night after the 3am feeding. I'm debating on getting an electric pump since I've been using a manual that we got free from the hospital. It's hard to justify spending that kind of money on something that I know I can't return if I don't like it. I don't mind the manual one, but I'm usually pumping for at least 25 minutes on each side, even after you eat, and that takes a looooong time at 3am when I could be sleeping. Daddy said he doesn't mind spending the money because it's something that I will most definitely need and makes my life easier. With all the amazon orders I've been getting, you'd think I wouldn't have a problem spending more money, but when it's something expensive that I can't return, I get nervous.

I'm anxious to see how much you weigh at your appointment on Monday. It makes me feel good that you're growing on breast milk alone, that my body can nourish you and give you everything you need. I remember that each time I look (with pride) at my stretch mark filled, fluffy mom pouch. I love it though, I really do. I'm so proud of what my body did! You're definitely growing though, you're officially out of newborn diapers, sadly, and your newborn pjs are fitting perfectly. I just keep remembering that your feet barely reached the footie part when we brought you home from the hospital. You're even filling out your swaddle now! It's hard to appreciate every day when I'm wondering what you'll be like in a month, or a year, or 5 years. What will you be when you grow up? But I'm trying really hard to live in the moment and soak up each moment.

I love you baby girl, and I love being your mommy!

Breastfeeding.

As I've mentioned before, I was more prepared for laboring & delivering my daughter than I was to breastfeed her. Well, not that I wasn't prepared, but I was more nervous. My aunt, mom, cousin and grandmother all had bad luck with breastfeeding. As I've listened to my mom, cousin and aunt's stories, I've tried to pinpoint what they did wrong. My cousin got too obsessed with how much she was making and how much her boys were getting. My mom was put on a nursing schedule of 6 times in 24 hours, four hours apart. I'm not sure what my aunt did, but I'm thinking that it was along the same lines as my mom, not feeding enough. I was determined to be different. I know that a low milk supply is not genetic and I so wanted to be able to nurse my daughter. I wanted to be the strong woman who would nurse in public, even if it was under a nursing cover, I didn't want to run away from parties to find a dark room where I was alone to nurse. That was the plan.

Then I had my baby.

Milk waaaasted

Don't get me wrong, things haven't totally changed, and I'm working on the nursing in public thing, well at least in front of my in-laws. The women I'm fine with, I have no problem whipping it out in front of them, but it's the males that I'm a little leary about.

Anyway, Molly did a pretty good job of latching on in the hospital, although I don't think her latch was deep enough, and that resulted in bloody, cracked nipples when she was just five days old. That led to me pumping the right side for 24 hours, and eventually ended up with us giving Molly a bottle, much to my dismay, because I was nervous she wasn't getting enough from just the left side. But that healed, we figured out a latch that didn't hurt me and I'd say we're pretty successful so far. I get nervous that she's not getting enough milk, but honestly, what mother doesn't wonder about that. She's growing, so I know she's fine.

But that initial week was hard. I'd even say the initial two weeks were hard. Each time I had to feed Molly, I would scrunch my face in pain and breathe through the pain. I thought I was just going to have to face the pain each time I'd feed her, and thought it was normal until my aunt came up and had the same issue - sore, cracked, bleeding nipples. She remembered the pain, the crying with each feeding, the pain, and it made me realize that I wasn't alone, and that this pain wasn't normal. But I will say, not once did the option of formula cross my mind. I have quite a few free samples that were given to me by the pediatrician and the hospital, but I never thought to use it. I'm glad I didn't because if I said something, I would think that Mr. Skinny would have agreed because he didn't like seeing me in that pain. Labor was different, that was expected pain, but breastfeeding pain was different. I knew it would be uncomfortable, but didn't know how much pain I would be in. But we survived though and I will say I love breastfeeding. I love the bonding time I get with my daughter. It's wonderful.

Onto the second issue - nursing wherever I am.

The first time we went to Mr. Skinny's grandma's house, Molly was passed out in the car seat for about 2 1/2 hours, so we let her sleep. Well, eventually she woke up and had her first blowout, and I had to change her outfit, so I was flustered from that. Then she was crying because she was hungry, so I went to Grandma's back room, the craft room to feed her on a folding chair. At this point, I was still using the Boppy, so not having a pillow and trying to feed her on a folding chair was really hard. So I got upset and started crying. It didn't help that we were feeding on the mega-boob side and Molly normally gets frustrated with that side anyway. I was a mess. Mr. Skinny was cutting grass without his cell phone, so I couldn't vent to him, I just had to deal with it myself. I kept thinking to myself, this is what I didn't want to do, run away from the party because I have to nurse. I bought a nursing cover for a reason, and I should be outside enjoying the family. I kept beating myself up, and I knew it wasn't the smartest idea.

So when Molly wanted to eat again, I got a receiving blanket out, and threw it over my shoulder to feed that time, which was better, but it was hot out! I could see the sweat forming around Molly's lips. I felt like an awful mother.

The next weekend I tried the nursing cover. Well, mistake one, we were on the mega-boob side again, and I couldn't really see what was going on under the cover. At one point, Molly unlatched and I had milk squirting everywhere. Seriously. I then swore I was never going to use the nursing cover again. I had been so adamant about breastfeeding - that's what boobs are for! Forget how our culture has sexualized them, their purpose is to feed our babies!

Yeah, until the next weekend where I was at a friend's party and Molly was hungry. I was smart this time though, we ate on the mega-boob before we left so that I could nurse on the left (easier) side at the party. I used the nursing cover. And it wasn't bad. I'm rather large chested, and I'm not really a fan of showing anyone the majority of my boob, even if my nipple is covered. If my chest was smaller, I might have an easier time nursing in front of people, but it's hard when you have so much boob!

I'm definitely proud of how far I've come. I'm very comfortable nursing around almost any women that I know, and certain males, too - Mr. Skinny (obviously), my dad, brother, and Mr. Skinny's brothers. I usually just give them a heads up when I hear them coming into the room I'm nursing in.

Now that Molly is 4 weeks old, I can pump and give her a bottle when we're visiting. But I feel like that's taking the easy way out instead of standing up for what I believe in. I know I have the right to nurse wherever I am, but it's hard to be okay with doing that. Since Molly's been eating every hour while she's awake, it's hard to visit family and "run away" to nurse her each time. Especially when you're going to visit family who want to see Molly. In a few weekends, our Saturday is packed - two graduation parties and Mr. Skinny's out of state family are all coming in to meet Molly and visit - I don't want to have to go hide each time Molly's hungry. So I've been toying with the idea of pumping and bottle feeding her, but I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

Wow, sorry for the long winded post, but I wanted to put this all out there!

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Would you/did you nurse your babies in front of people? How far would you go?

Four Weeks Old.

Miss Molly,

You are such a good baby! Granted, you like to be held and still don't really like your crib all that much, but I know it's not going to be forever that you want to be snuggled in Momma's arms, so I'll appreciate it now. I haven't even bothered putting you in your crib for nap time. I'll just hold you, or Grammy will hold you. I don't mind, really. It would be nice to get some things done, but I appreciate all the snuggles. I know some people say I'm spoiling you by holding you during nap times, but you're still good in your crib most night's. As long as that doesn't get screwed up then I'll be okay. We're getting some good 5 hour stretches in now, and I so appreciate it! We're still sleeping in until anywhere from 8-10:30 in the morning, and most of the nights you've slept in your crib. We usually sleep about 4-5 hours, wake up to eat, then back to sleep in the crib for another 2-3 hours, which is usually around the time Daddy goes to work. Once he goes to work, I bring you in bed with me in the Boppy and we go back to sleep after I feed you again. I think two nights last week we were in the recliner, but it's usually when Mommy gets tired and you want to be awake! I'm just too tired to try to get you to sleep, it's easier to fall asleep on the recliner with you in my arms.

We gave you your first bath in the tub this week! Aunt Jeanne gave us this thing that they used for Gwennie to keep your head out of the water, so that works really well for us. Daddy still gives you your baths, I'd like it if that was his thing to do, since he's gone all day long working, I think bath and bedtime should be his bonding time with you. He loves you so much, and I hope you know that, even if he's not around all the time because he's working.

I started pumping this week. Since I started block feeding - I know that my over supply is self diagnosed, and I should call the Lactation Consultant, just haven't yet - I didn't want to hurt my supply, so if you go for 2-3 hours between feedings, usually at night, then I'll pump whichever side I don't use. Now that I typed that out, though, it seems kind of counter-productive. Hmm. Maybe I'll put that call higher on my to do list...
But anyways, really I've been doing block feeding because your poops are kind of foamy. I'm sure you'll love to hear about that when you're 16, but I want to remember. I was googling what the foamy poops were and it seems to come from an imbalance of fore milk and hind milk. Since you aren't eating for more than 10ish minutes or so on one side, then it makes sense you aren't getting the hind milk that you need. Then you're hungry in an hour, so I've been doing 2 hour blocks of nursing on the same side. Sometimes I think it works and other time I don't think it works. I don't know, I really should call the LC.

Let's see, we went to your Auntie Dawn's birthday party last week and you totally stole the show. Christopher even said that you were the cutest baby he's ever seen before! Everyone kept giving you kisses and complimenting you, saying how adorable you were. You barely fussed, only when you were hungry and once I fed you, you were just fine again. It's weird, everyone knows that babies cry, but when I take you out, I want you to be the perfect baby, it doesn't make sense. I get embarrassed if you fuss or cry, and it makes me feel like other people think I'm not a good mom because I can't keep my baby from crying. Guess it's a strange parent thing. Well, maybe a mom thing.
We also went to Walmart last weekend, and I wore you in the Ergo, and loved it! You loved it, too, slept the whole time. I got a couple funny looks, and a couple compliments from people. It's so comfortable to wear, and I have free hands! It's hard to eat while I'm wearing you, but that's okay, I wouldn't wear it to a restaurant. Daddy even wore you on Sunday when we went to Kohl's for some new clothes for Mommy. He said he felt weird, but he knows how much easier it is than carrying the car seat or pushing the stroller.

You can follow our voices and faces now! The other night while Daddy was talking and then walked out of your line of vision you followed him until you couldn't anymore and then just waited until he walked back. Grammy was doing the same thing, just walking back and forth and you followed her. You're starting to make sounds, too, just some baby noises. It's adorable!

We've gone for a couple walks this week, and even took a walk with Haley and Enoch (the youth minister at my church's wife and son). Enoch is only 3 months older than you, so hopefully you two can be good friends! It's strange to see how big he is compared to you, and I don't like to think you'll be that big, but I know it's coming. I just looked at the pictures I've taken of you (about 300 in one month!) and can't believe how much you've already grown!

We have about a week and a half until your next pediatrician's appointment and I'm anxious to see how much you weigh, and how long you are! You also have to get two shots, which I'm not thrilled about, but I know you have to get them. I have a few questions to ask the pediatrician, your eyes are really goopy, constantly I have to wipe them, and I didn't know what that was from. Also, about the foamy poop, and you make this gasping/wheezing noise a lot. It's like you can't catch your breath. It makes me nervous. You always do catch your breath and it doesn't seem to bother you, but I'd like to know what it's caused by and if it's anything to worry about.

I just can't believe how big you're getting! Daddy and I were just talking about how it seems like you've been here forever. I told him I think you were always with us in our minds and hearts, as corny as that sounds, and it just makes sense for you to be here with us baby girl! We love you so much!

Love,
Mommy

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P.S. My mom dug this picture of me out, I'm on the left at 2 months old, and Molly is on the right at 4 weeks. It's so weird how similar we look, don't you think???

Plans for Post-Baby Body.

Like I said last week, I feel back to 100% now, but I won't push myself. I think all the weight I'm going to loose from delivering is finished - about 25 ish pounds. I still have about 25 to go until I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, and then I have about another 15 to go until I reach my goal weight. Granted, I'm a mom now, and I'll see how I feel when I get down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I want to be strong and healthy, and a good role model for my daughter. I haven't been watching what I've been eating, I'm giving myself the month of June to kind of just figure things out, and July 1, I'll be back on My Fitness Pal, I believe. After my 6 week checkup on July 12, I'm hoping to pick up running again, and in the meantime I need to go for walking, probably daily, there's no reason not to. I just have to watch the summer heat. 

This weekend, I'm dragging Mr. Skinny out to go shopping for some clothes for me since I'm wider than I was pre-pregnancy. I tried on shorts that fit when I weighed more than I do now before I joined WW and I could barely get them up, so yep, definitely wider. That's fine, I'll take an excuse to go on a shopping trip and transform my wardrobe into a "mommy-friendly" wardrobe. Not a problem. I ordered a bunch of nursing tops and a bunch of skirts, I think I'm done with shorts, they don't flatter me and since I'm a mom, I don't have to fit in with the "normal" 23 year olds out there with super short shorts. 

Another goal for this weekend - a bathing suit. Sure, this might warrant some tears at Kohls, but I need to get a few tops that fit me and make me feel good. I do know that I have a daughter now and I have to be a good role model for her, even if she doesn't know exactly what I'm talking about, I don't want to teach her to have a negative body image. So I'll be working on that. I'm so thankful that my body birthed a baby without any medical intervention (and I'm not putting down any other births, but I got the birth I wanted, and I'm darn proud of that. Every mom should be proud of her birth)  that I think I have a whole new appreciation for it. I'm sure I'll still get annoyed with it at some point, but hopefully I won't verbalize that in front of my daughter. Hopefully each time I get annoyed I can look at my daughter and know that my body knew what to do in order to grow her, nourish her, and birth her.

What a real 3 week postpartum belly looks like!

I gained too much weight in pregnancy, about 45 pounds according to the doctor's scale, and about 52ish pounds according to my scale. Luckily, I had a healthy pregnancy and have a healthy daughter, but I didn't treat my body very well during those months. I didn't exercise or eat very well, and I know it's going to take a lot to get back into the groove that I was in last summer before I got pregnant. It's going to be hard and I know that, but I can do it. So hopefully this blog will get back on track with the road to skinny, although this it the third time to skinny, I can do it! It'll be a slow, hard journey, but I can do it.

Keep me accountable!

Three Weeks Old.

Molly -

Seriously, where is time going?! It's hard to look forward to each milestone while still treasuring each present moment and appreciating where we are right now. It's hard to figure out a balance! Each day you're growing more and becoming more alert, developing into your own little person and it's amazing to watch. I look back at your newborn pictures and already can't believe how much you've grown. I was going to take newborn pictures with Daddy, but I think the time has already passed. I just have to stay on top of taking your weekly pictures. Each day when Daddy comes home and he holds you and you hold your head up longer than the day before, he can't believe how quickly you're growing. He feels bad that he works such long hours and doesn't get to spend as much time with you as he wants to. He feels bad when he goes to play tennis with Uncle Billy, but he snuggles with you as much as possible.

It's amazing how I'm home all day, but I still don't have time to do anything, like call about bills, or a present I got for Daddy. He's really understanding about it though, and don't expect me to do too much during the day. Usually I feel bad that I didn't do anything. Daddy pokes fun at it, but he knows I have a lot to do just watching you. I have to wait until Grammy comes home from work and then hand you off to her and call. She loves holding you, so that's not a problem. You love listening to her, and I think you recognize her voice, it's so precious! I know how much she loves you and considering that you're named after her (middle name) it's only appropriate for you guys to be super close.

Grammy

This week we went to church for the first time and you were pretty good! We started out in your car seat, and hoped that you'd fall asleep, but you didn't. Then Daddy took you out of the car seat and tried to rock you to sleep, but that didn't work either. Finally, I took you and got you to sleep. When we were singing our last songs you totally fell asleep, and so I realized that you like to listen to me singing, so all week we've been listening to church songs and I've been singing to you. Works pretty good. Friday we went out with Grammy to get Pappy's prescriptions and get Old Pop Pop candy for Father's Day. Saturday and Sunday we went to Grandma and Poppa's house, and you were good there, too. Everyone loves holding you, except Uncle Quentin, he won't hold you yet. Give it time, he'll cave. You're so loved, baby girl, and I love seeing everyone fuss over you, it makes me such a proud mama!

Grandma

Since Sunday was Father's Day, I let Daddy pick what he wanted to do. He got to stand up in church and got a lot of "Happy Father's Day's" from everyone at church. I think he was very proud to be a father. Once we came home, he went to play tennis with Uncle Billy, then came home and napped with you for about 2 hours while I got some things done. Then we went over Grandma and Poppa's and he got to cut down trees with Poppa and I got to cuddle with you all afternoon. We went to visit Great Gma, too, and you pooped through your cute dress. Oh well, bound to happen sometime, right? At least you lasted most of the day in it!

Sleeping's been okay. We only slept in the recliner once this week, and that's because you were awake and I was dead tired so that was the best decision for us. Your sleep stretches are getting longer, we've had some 5 hour stretches! Granted, that's 5 hours between feedings, so sleeping maybe 3 1/2 or so, but I'll take it! You're not really a fan of napping during the day now though. I can tell you're really tired, but you won't sleep. I nurse you, make sure you have a clean diaper, but you're just awake. It usually takes until about 2pm or so for you to fall asleep, after feeding you every hour all morning. Oh well, you're still little, I'm not complaining. We're getting to the point where you want to be up longer after eating during the night. It usually takes a full hour from me starting to nurse you to you actually sleeping again, which means I only get 2 hours of sleep between feedings, but that's okay. I'm thankful I'm getting some sleep. We're also trying to put you in your crib for nap time. Well, I am, since I'm home all day, but that's going pretty good, too!

Eating is pretty good, too. We're still trying to work through this oversupply/fast milk issue, but we're getting there. Sometimes you get really frustrated and it breaks my heart to see you upset, I feel like I'm torturing you, but then other times you latch right on and you're a champ! I told Daddy I feel like every time we conquer the "big boob" you should get $1 in your savings account, haha! We're working through it. I have more patience with you though, I haven't cried at all this week regarding breastfeeding!

"Aunt" Krissy and cousins Isaiah and Colton came to visit on Monday. It was a totally sporadic visit. She asked if it was my first day home with you and I told her kind of since Grammy worked 2 Thursdays ago, and I was home for 4 hours, but she decided to come up! I was pretty excited since we had a rough night and I love seeing them. The boys were really good with you, although I don't think Colton was too happy that his mommy was holding you. He was touching your feet though, it was really sweet! Krissy got some pictures of that. It was so strange to be sitting here with you sleeping in my arms, and Krissy holding a sleeping Colton - for the 6 years that's between Krissy and I, it's nice that we're finally in the same stage of life, she's always been one life stage ahead of me. It was my first real realization that we're really adults and how far we've come. I think Grammy got a taste of what it'll be like in a year when you're walking and getting into everything - Colton was into everything. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there, I'll enjoy each day with you and all the baby snuggles I get.

You already rolled over, from your tummy to your back, TWICE! But I don't think you meant to do it on purpose, you were confused when you did it. You were frustrated and wanted to be picked up and were flailing all around and just flipped yourself over. I haven't been able to get you to do it since, but I'm glad I got to see it!

Daddy is still awesome, and I know he always will be. He loves you so much and wants to spoil you with hugs and kisses. Between me, Daddy, and Grammy I think you get about 8 millions kisses each day. Daddy loves snuggling with you when he comes home from work, he gets bummed when I have to feed you because he just wants to hold you all night. Our "schedule" of Daddy staying up with you until about 11pm, or being "on call" didn't really work out too well this week, you were hungry, so he got to sleep and I was on duty. That's okay though, I know that I need to appreciate each second with you, even if it means I don't get very much sleep.

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Did you/would you take newborn pictures?

I have an update on me, along with some pictures, scheduled for next week!

Two Weeks Old.

Hope my birth story didn't bore anyone - I wanted to include it since it's Miss M's journey, but I know it was long and quite detailed. I'm hoping to get to some other posts, and possibly back to some healthy living posts soon, but I am enjoying all the time I can with Molly.

Miss M,

Since our first week, you've learned to like your crib more now, and had a few nights of sleeping all night in the crib! Well, I say all night, but I mean sleeping for about 2.5 hours, up to nurse, then right back down in the crib until the next feeding about 3 hours later. On Saturday night, you were a little fussy, and Momma got a little upset with you because you wouldn't eat very well - you wouldn't latch on. I think it was a mix of sleeping all. day. long. and the walk Daddy and I took you on once he came home from work. We were going to try to go to church on Sunday morning, but I slept with you in the recliner for about 4 hours so that didn't work out. I was a little worried because you were only eating for about 5 minutes during the night, and going so long in between feedings, I didn't want you to starve, or have my supply go down, but I trusted my instincts to just let you go, if you were hungry, you'd fuss and I'd feed you.


You're such a great sleeper! We don't have to be quiet when you're napping, even if we're holding you, which tends to happen during the day. Oh well, Grammy loves to spoil you! We've been on a good schedule at night, getting up to eat every 2-4 hours or so, and not getting up in the morning until about 8am. I honestly don't mind getting up multiple times to feed you at night when I still get to sleep in until that late!

I think we're dealing with a little over supply issue, either that or my milk comes out really fast. You haven't choked, but I know it's coming out fast because it overflows while you're nursing. I always have to make sure to have a burp cloth handy so that I can wipe up whatever milk is overflowing everywhere. Sometimes I feel like a cow with milk shooting everywhere, but I know it's what's best for you and we'll work through it. Daddy is such a great help when I get frustrated. He always takes the first "shift" until about 11pm or so, unless you get hungry earlier. He loves spending time with you and hates if he has to work late since he gets to spend so little time with you anyway. He loves you so, so much and I love to see that connection you have with him. You're already Daddy's little girl.

 You're more awake for periods now, and we've started tummy time with you. You really don't mind it at all! We put you on our chests a lot and you're already so strong and pick your head up! Daddy is amazed at you each time you do it! I love watching all your faces and your smiles, even if they aren't real smiles yet. They're adorable! I could just stare at you all day!

We went for our first stroller walk this week! You slept the whole time! It felt good to get out of the house and go somewhere, I hope to keep that up with Grammy over the summer when it isn't too hot out. Daddy pushed you for a little bit, but then I wanted to push you since I need the exercise more! You were a little fussy that night, and Daddy thought it was because you were outside and we threw off your schedule, but I don't think so. I think you were just fussy, but when I say fussy, I mean that you were basically just making noises, you still haven't really cried.

Oh, we also went to Uncle Billy's graduation Wednesday night. You were awesome - sleeping through the entire thing, not even waking up to eat for 4 hours. You cried the whole way home since you were so hungry but we flew home and you ate for 25 minutes! You generally don't eat that long anymore. I felt bad, you seemed like you thought we were never going to feed you again. I was so worried during graduation that you'd cry and I'd have to feed you, which wouldn't have been bad, but I had to take pictures of Uncle Billy since it was only Grammy and I and she had the camcorder. Daddy had to work late, but he still came after work, he missed the ceremony but came to carry you around afterwards for pictures.

We also took our first couple outings this week! Sunday we went to Great Gma Crane's house and you slept in your carseat for most of the day, and Wednesday we went up to Kohl's and Babies R Us, and you slept the whole time there, too. You love sleeping in the car!

We gave you a pacifier again this week, and you like the one from the hospital. I don't think it's messed with our nursing routine, and you don't use it a lot, just when you're done eating and need something to suck on. I think once you find your finger/thumb you'll be very content, but I know that might not be for a while, and I'm okay giving you a pacified occasionally. I just don't want it to be a crutch that we try first if you're fussy, I want it to be a last resort, and so far, that's worked.


How's Mom?


I actually feel 100% healed! I want to take some pictures of what my post-baby body looks like, but I'm so proud of what my body did that all the flabby skin and stretch marks don't bother me one bit. I had a little bit of a hard time being okay with how I looked at graduation, but I thought I looked pretty good for 2 weeks post partum, if I do say so myself. I felt great on that walk we took, although out of breath, but I'm so out of shape it's not even funny. Sometimes I feel like a cow when I'm feeding, but that's normal. I don't think I have any "baby blues" at least not yet. I get frustrated sometimes, and the tears fall, but that's normal, too. Usually it's when I'm nursing and I feel bad because my milk is coming out too fast and Molly's hungry, but don't want to eat because there's so much. At least that's what I feel like is going on.

I know I can't push myself too hard, and I'll stick to walking for now, and maybe some yoga thrown back in if I can when Miss M is sleeping. I've been good with my sleep, too. I haven't had to nap in about a week or so. I might have to next week since I'm going to be here myself with Miss M, but we'll play that by ear. I know my mom works right down the road if I need her to come home quickly, she can.

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Any moms reading who have any advice for over supply/fast milk flow?