TTC.

I think I'm going to start to be a lot more open now, especially since we're officially in the beginning processes of TTC (trying to conceive). I thought about making a blog specifically for that, but this blog would just be left behind, and I don't want that. I might go changing the title a bit, but for right now, I'm just going to keep everything here and update you all. Hopefully no one leaves my blog because they don't want to read about the new part of my life.

Yesterday, I spent some serious time with God, praying and asking for His help in making this decision. I know my mom isn't going to be thrilled. Well I mean she will, but I know she'd prefer if we waited a few years. She wasn't ecstatic when we got engaged at 18/19 and married at 20/21. I don't want to sound like a bratty teenager, but she can't tell me what to do. Honestly, this decision is between Chuck, me and God. We aren't doing it to please anyone else, it seems like all signs are pointing toward starting our family, even if it doesn't make the most sense to us. I know He'll take care of us. Yes, we are living with my parents, and we're not planning on living her forever. I think my biggest worry is that my mom is going to think we're taking advantage of her hospitality by letting us live here. I know that she would never kick us out, but it does worry me that she might through it up in my face that she's letting us live here for free. I'm worried she's going to think we're irresponsible and didn't think things through. But I try to not worry, and I've been praying that God works on her to help her understand that this is our decision, and we're doing it for the right reasons.

I really don't like my job. Yesterday, my boss decided to through me a little "pop quiz" to see how much I learned my first week. The questions included naming his education and working credentials, what kind of work we specifically do, the address and telephone number of my employer and how I do certain tasks. Now I've mentioned before, this is a part time job, only about 20 hours each week, in finances. I've never had a finance class in my life. Never. My boss wants me to think of my feet, push me out of my comfort zone, and I could understand that if this was going to be my career, with room for promotions and career advancement, but it's not. I flat out told him during my interview that my dream job was to be a stay-at-home-mom. He knows that. Other than him, there is one other employee, his assistant. G told me that he wanted to catch me off guard, and that it was my responsibility to google his name and find out everything that I could about him. The reading materials he suggested I read? I should have brought them home to show that I was really gung-ho about working.

Are you kidding me? For a part-time job with no career potential you want me to waste my time googling you at home?? No. Freaking. Way.

I was SO livid when he told me that. I was seriously ready to quit on the spot. When I told my mom after I came home, she actually suggested that I quit since it didn't seem like a good fit for me. I'll suck it up, but the only thing that's getting me through is that I should have less than 1 year of working there.

I spent some more time in prayer today, and still feel at peace with our decision. If I was obsessed with babies before, I'm so much more obsessed now, Mr. Skinny actually commented that he thought my obsession would go down, but it's spiked up. I go to the doctor on Monday for a check up and I'll be mentioning that we're ready to start TTC and see what she says. I'll be finishing up with my pack of birth control pills this week, so my only question is about my weigh. I've lost 30 pounds, I know I'm not in a healthy BMI, but I really don't think I could ever comfortably get there. 132 lbs. my butt. I'm okay with waiting until I'm 140 if she really recommends it, and I'm thinking that I'll give myself two months to really loose as much weight as I can (healthily), really focus on what kind of foods are going into my body, focus on my taking my vitamins daily, saving money, praying and preparing our marriage for this new stage.

For right now, I'll keep the TTC/baby posts at a minimum, hopefully, as I'm still focusing on that "skinny" stage before the TTC stage. My focus on the blog is still going to be becoming a healthy person, whether that's a healthy pregnancy, a healthy body before pregnancy or post-partum, health is the main topic. I just might be asking a few more baby questions to the moms, pretty sure they're just two - Kara and Tina - who read my blog.

Have you ever had an awful job/boss? Tell me about it.

When did you know it was the "right" time to have a baby?