Maybe, Baby.

It's been 4 weeks since we starting trying to start our family. I feel like I owe you guys an update on our life in that department. I've said it before and I'm going to say it again, I want to be honest with this journey. I want to be honest not only for my readers, but for myself too, so that I have this "journal" to look back on and see how I was feeling while going through it. With that said, am I pregnant....??

We don't know yet.

I mentioned it before, but before starting birth control 2 years ago, my cycle was pretty irregular. I'd get my period every 5-6ish weeks, maybe longer, maybe shorter. Wasn't real accountable. It was a pain in the butt. I loved having a regular cycle for 2 years, knowing when it would be coming, and being able to explain my moodiness in that week before it came.

Now I'm off again. Since we didn't wait for a cycle before starting to trying, we've pretty much done it (and by it, I mean the 5th grade slang for sex), every other day for a month. It's kind of exhausting. I know that there are ovulation prediction things you can buy, but they're expensive! We figured we'd just take matters into our own hands and have a good time. Some days it is a good time, and some days it's an extra pain in the butt something we have to do. It all depends, but here we are, sitting at the end of the first 4 weeks of trying and we don't know if I'm pregnant.

On a 28 day cycle, my period is due this week, like the week that started with this past Sunday. If my body quickly goes back to it's pre-birth control cycle, I could have another 2 weeks yet.

How am I feeling? Well, on Friday I started cramping, I was super excited because that could be a sign of implantation, but it could also be a sign of my period coming. I get headaches a lot, but they don't last long, and my lower back hurts almost daily. My nose is a super sniffer now; either that or I've paid attention to what I'm smelling more than I ever have before. I'm tired, like super tired, meaning I sleep for 10 hours at night and could still take a nap. All this could just be me reading into certain things more because I could be and because I want to be pregnant.

Update: Remember my crazy weird dream on Tuesday? Well I had another one yesterday, and another one this morning. This morning it was the end of the world, so bizarre. Apparently, when I googled it, vivid dreams could be a sign of pregnancy, too. So maybe, baby??

I'm going to wait until Sunday morning to take a pregnancy test. Well, that was the plan, but should I? I mean those suckers are expensive, and I don't want to waste them. I don't really feel any different than my normal self. I keep hoping that I'm pregnant, but it's just hoping. It's like stepping on the scale. You think you gained, but you're hoping that by some magic power you've lost like 3 pounds.

My boobs don't hurt at. ALL. Which is SO weird because they always hurt when my period is coming. I'm not nauseous, although I keep hoping that I am because it's a different symptom that isn't attached to periods, at least mine anyway.

I keep trying to enjoy life with just Mr. Skinny and I, but it's hard when I know what I want and what we want the next step to be. I know God has a plan for us, but it's hard to not know what that plan is! I'm not stressed, truly I'm not, just curious as to how the next year or so is going to pan out.

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Any thoughts?

How do you handle the unknown?