I feel like I've been all over the place lately. I think knowing that the holidays are coming is totally messing with my mind. And the fact that DH just got a new job which we are SO thankful for, but don't know anything about. We don't know if we'll be able to go home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years. We don't know if we'll be able to go away for our anniversary which is already planned and nonrefundable. A lot of things are just up in the air right now. As much as I love Christmas, I think I'll be happy when it's January and I can just relax and go back to normal. I don't even really know why I'm feeling like this. I'll be so bummed when it's January and the holidays are over.
I think a part of this, too, is my inflexibility with WW. I had my plan, I always have to have a plan, and something changes and I'm totally thrown off wack. I get so frustrated with myself if I fall off. Monday I was good all day, but then we found out the DH got a job, and he wanted to go out to eat, so that totally messed up my plan, and my WI on Tuesday. I didn't track it, but my week started over on Tuesday anyways, so what was the point of seeing that -30 points or whatever it would have been? I WI'd on Tuesday morning and went down 0.2 from last Tuesday, but I knew I could have done A LOT better. What did I track then? My WI from Friday. I know, I cheated, but I wanted to see that line go down.
I had a plan for Tuesday, too. I got up and tried to make oatmeal with pb and banana. It was TERRIBLE! I tossed the whole thing, so what did I do? I went to McDonalds and ate 17 points for breakfast. I tracked it, and moved on. At lunch, my friend gave me 2 cookies, and I ate them, even though I was full. In my afternoon class, someone made apple cinnamon muffins - I couldn't turn them down. I ate my planned dinner, which was delicious, and tracked everything.
Now I have plenty of points left for the week, kind of, but I'm going on a field trip this weekend, to Jamestown, VA. A bunch of the kids in my class are going to Christiana Campbell's Tavern. The only menu they have online is a summer menu, and I'm assuming it's going to change for the fall/winter, and they have no NI. We have to get our own lunch on Saturday and Sunday, and I'll have this tavern to go to on Saturday night. I'm nervous. I know it isn't about the food, it's about being social, but I want to stay OP so badly. It's really hard. I don't like not knowing what I'm going to be eating.
As I'm planning my dinners for next week, I don't know what I'm going to eat on Thursday evennig for dinner, or Friday, Saturday or Sunday. It's driving me nuts. I'm almost tempted to not track for a few weeks. I'll own up after Thanksgiving maybe, and then track until Christmas or something. But then I have my race the week after Thanksgiving and I'm sure I'll be walking the race if I eat whatever I want in the new few weeks.
Now this just hit me, the change. This new huge change that WW is going to be doing. I'm nervous about this. I like the way that it is now. I'm anxious, I guess, is the right emotion. I am SO not good with uncertainty. I like planning life, and I'm so terrible when someone throws me for a loop. It's bad, I know, and I shouldn't. I need to be more spontaneous, especially with the holidays.
I totally need to work on this. Anyone else like this?
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